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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I have 3 different TARDIS’ in my studio, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a lesson I learned on the golf course.
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What I Learned Yesterday:
I’m a terrible golfer. On a regulation course, I’ve only broken 100 one time. I don’t go very often, maybe once or twice a year, so it’s no surprise that I’m not very good. Some people are naturally gifted at it and able to at least play near par without too much practice, but I am not one of those people. In fact, if it is any kind of sport or athletic contest, I can assure you that the words naturally gifted would be the last thing anyone would say about me.
But that does not mean that I do not enjoy playing golf. I really do enjoy it. I enjoy being outside and enjoying the scenery. I enjoy the time I get to spend with those I golf with. I enjoy trying to analyze what I’m doing wrong and trying to improve on my next effort. I look at it like a puzzle…a very bad golfing puzzle.
When I lived in Texas, I didn’t really have anyone to golf with, and I wanted to try out one of the local municipal courses. My wife is not at all interested in golfing, but she thought it would be fun to get some sun. She decided she would come along and read a book in the golf cart while I played a round of golf.
Unfortunately, when I showed up at the course, they would not let me play alone. It was Saturday, their busiest day, and they were only allowing groups of two or more to play. My only option was to come back during the week (my only day off was every other Saturday), or play with a pair of strangers.
I agreed to play with the strangers, as long as it was okay with them. They paired me with a couple of guys who seemed to be in their late 50s. I was 23. Now, since I only played golf a couple of times a year, I hadn’t really invested in high quality equipment. I wore regular tennis shoes, I didn’t have any apparel with golf logos on them, and my clubs are some that were handed down to me from a guy I used to sing with. He was taller than me so I had to choke up on the grips to swing them properly.
In contrast, these guys looked like they just walked out of a Titleist catalog. They had golf shoes, shorts, shirts, and hats that had various golfing logos on them, fancy golf bags, and really nice clubs with big oversized drivers. I was intimidated by them and I hadn’t even seen them touch a club yet.
We introduced ourselves and they seemed nice enough. As we approached the first tee, they told me that since I was younger, I could have the honor of going first. I DID NOT want to go first, but I couldn’t talk them out of it. About 40 yards from the tee was the driving range, and it ran parallel to the first half of the fairway on the first hole. To keep everything separated, a giant net spanned the entire side of the driving range. It posed no threat, and was well out of the way of any shot of even the worst golfer…probably.
I teed up my ball, selected my club, and assessed the wind. I took a couple of practice swings, approached the ball, and gave it a good swing. The club approached the ball, but it was not an accurate attempt. The club went to the inside of the ball. It hit the ball, but only just barely, with the tip of the club. The ball sailed far away from the fairway, hit the net of the driving range and fell to the ground right where the net met the grass.
I was too embarrassed to even look at the guys. One of them tried to encourage me. He said that it was just a fluke, told me not to worry about it, and extended me an offer to try again. I was grateful for getting a second chance, but felt even more pressure to get a respectable shot. I teed the ball, assessed the wind, took a couple of more practice swings, carefully approached the ball, and gave it a good swing. Once again the tip of the club struck the ball and once again the ball flew into the net. I was humiliated. My only hope now was that the two men did not have a golf game that matched their look.
That hope was quickly dashed. The first man teed up his ball and nailed it right down the middle of the fairway. The second man did the same and experienced the same result. Both of their shots made that fantastic pinging sound that I only hear about once or twice during a round of golf. I hung my head and drove my cart to the net of shame, eventually coaxing my ball into the hole.
As we continued to play, the results remained the same. I hit the ball terribly,and pounded my clubs at the ground as I yelled at my ball. They hit shots that I only dream of. I continued to be intimidated by them, and I continued to be embarrassed by my efforts. The round of golf could not end soon enough for me.
After several holes one of the men approached me very calmly. In one of those Ward Cleaver fatherly tones he said that he’d been observing me and felt like he needed to say something. He said that I had an anger issue and that I should really see someone about getting my anger under control. Honestly, I was really surprised by his words. I don’t have an anger issue. I really don’t. So why was I acting this way?
I took some time to calm down, and as I finished my round of golf, I contemplated his words. Here’s what I learned.
I was defeated before I ever touched a ball, and it was all my fault. I made assumptions about those men, that while mostly turned out to be true, turned me into something that I am not. I was so concerned about not embarrassing myself in front of them, that I totally embarrassed myself in front of them.
After he pointed out my behavior, I realized that I had blown any chance of making a positive impression on them. If I wanted to talk to them about business, tell them about the company that had brought me to Lubbock, or invite them to church, I had blown that chance. These men would not be interested in spending any more time or giving any credibility to someone with anger issues like me. We only get one chance to make a first impression and I had blown it big time.
After a hole or two I resolved that the damage had been done and there was no sense in trying to care about their opinions of me any longer. I calmed down, remembered that I was originally there to enjoy the outdoors and play by myself. You know what, my game greatly improved after that. What I mean to say is that it returned to my normal level of terrible golfing, which I was completely okay with.
I never saw those guys ever again, but I’m really glad our paths crossed that day and one of them took the time to reveal how foolish I was behaving. Without it, I wouldn’t have learned such an important lesson that day.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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