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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Derek Olsen, I love Nutella, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a philosophy on life called the second arrow……
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Now, let’s get to today’s show.
What I Learned Yesterday:
Have you heard the philosophy that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react? I believe in this idea 100 percent. I’ve noticed that people who believe in this idea are happier, pleasant to be around, and even more successful in everything they do.
Sure, I’ve found that it’s easier to believe in this philosophy when things are good, and not as easy when life gets hard. But, in the good times and in the bad times, it’s my reaction that counts. My reaction is the only thing I have control over anyway, so, might as well start there.
Now I’d like to talk with you about a related idea that comes wrapped in a slightly different color paper. This philosophy comes from Buddha.
The Buddha once asked a student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” The student replied, “It is.” The Buddha then asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” The student replied again, “It is.” The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional and the second arrow can be more painful.
Wow. When I first learned about “the second arrow” I was blown away. You can see how this is slightly different from the 10 percent / 90 percent idea we already talked about.
The second arrow is our reaction to the first.
I think of this as more of an internal emotional reaction and not so much an outward response. This is the kind of thing where a person might get down on themselves and beat them self up for something that isn’t even their fault.
This idea of the second arrow hurting even more than the first is interesting too. If you have already been hit, a second strike would just add to the pain. This idea gets even more interesting when we learn that the second arrow is optional and self-inflicted.
I am guilty of many self-inflicted second arrow attacks on myself. When things happen in my life that I didn’t even have anything to do with I’ll sometimes get upset at myself and make the situation even worse. Choosing to bring a second arrow into my life hinders my ability to respond to the first arrow strike.
So here’s what I learned from the second arrow philosophy…
Reacting negatively to things that happen in my life that are beyond my control is a choice.
And if it’s a choice, that means I can do something about it. I can choose to deal appropriately with the first arrow and avoid ever getting hit by the second, more painful, self-inflicted arrow.
I’ll try to keep this in mind next time the arrows of an uncontrollable life come flying my way.
How about you? How do you react to the arrow attacks in your life? Do you hit yourself with a second arrow?
I’m Derek Olsen and this has been stuff I learned yesterday
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