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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I think mornings are the best time of day, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a story of how I came to appreciate the men and women who serve in the armed forces.
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What I Learned Yesterday:
Today is Memorial Day here in the United States. It’s a day we set aside each May and remember those who have served our country as a member of the armed forces, and we especially take time to remember those who gave their lives or have passed on. We want to remember them and the service that they provided.
To be honest, Memorial Day didn’t really mean a whole lot to me growing up. To me it was just a day to eat some burgers and hang out with my family. Sometimes it might also include going to a car show and I’d see people displaying their flags, but that was about it.
You might think that I was not brought up in a family that served in the military, but that’s not the case. My grandpa, Roy Wolf, served our country as a member of the United States Army and fought in the Korean War. My dad, Larry Darnell, and uncle, Johnny Darnell, both served in the U.S. Navy and were aboard the USS Enterprise during the Vietnam War.
Maybe it was because each of these men had come home safely that I really didn’t think too much of Memorial Day. I hate to admit it, but I took their service, and the service of others like them, for granted. I knew that men and women died serving our country, but I didn’t know any of those people so it didn’t connect with me in a tangible way.
My brother, Nathan Darnell, graduated 2 years ahead of me and shortly after he graduated, he joined the United States Army. I’d like to tell you that having my brother join the Army changed my appreciation for our service men and women, but it did not. My brother went through basic training about an hour and a half away from my hometown so he was still close enough to us to visit when we could.
After basic training he was stationed at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii. It was hard for me to appreciate or take seriously the service or sacrifice of someone being forced to live in Hawaii. Clearly this was a terrible misunderstanding on my part, but it’s how I felt.
He served at Schofield Barracks for a few years and then received his next assignment. Of all the Army bases in all the towns in all the world, he was stationed back at Ft. Sill Oklahoma, the same base where he’d done his basic training. By that time, I was living only 45 minutes away from the base. So far his assignments had been in his home state at the closest base possible, the paradise of Hawaii, and back to his home state. Not exactly what I considered a sacrifice.
However, by this time things had really heated up in Iraq and it was only a matter of time before Nathan’s unit was called to serve there. When his unit was assigned to head out to Iraq, Kari and I went down to Ft. Sill to see him off. Getting on the base was a bit of a hassle. My car tag was out of date and I didn’t realize it. The MP at the gate gave me grief over it and told me should write me a ticket. After a few minutes and a thorough inspection of our vehicle, he let us on base.
We made it to my brother’s room and at some point I told him about the MP. I mocked the MP and told my brother that the guy actually thought he could give me a ticket. My brother then gave me an education on the power of an MP, even over a civilian, and how much respect MPs deserve. My brother was very protective of his fellow soldiers and it was the first of several important lessons I was about to learn about those who put on the uniform.
My brother served in Iraq for over a year. Because he was single and didn’t have any kids, he was a lower priority when it came to being given time to come home for a visit. We got to speak with him via phone every so often and it was always nice to hear his voice. He assured us that he was safe and that he would be home soon.
We knew that he would not always be in control of his safety. In fact, every day he would put his safety in the hands of his fellow soldiers, and they would put their safety into his hands. Despite their best efforts, danger could come from anywhere and no moment could be taken for granted.
This fact was realized one day as 6 of the men and women he served with lost their lives. The story still breaks my heart when I think of it today. The soldiers were all on their way home for a couple of weeks to be with their families. No doubt they could see the faces of their loved ones and their minds were filled with the hugs and welcomes they would soon receive. But as the helicopter that would carry them from Iraq to Kuwait took off, it was shot down with a rocket propelled grenade. Just like that, those brave soldiers lives were over. The families that were anticipating a heartwarming moment of embracing their loved ones were now facing an unimaginable heartbreaking moment.
When my brother returned from Iraq I took him to lunch. He was clearly not the same man. The loss of his friends had affected him deeply as you can imagine. As I sat across from my brother and heard him tell me about his experience my perspective changed again. Yes, it had changed while he was over in Iraq and my appreciation for our military members had greatly increased, but spending time with my brother after he returned had the most profound affect on me.
Here’s what I learned.
Serving our country is never easy nor is it something that we who have never put on the uniform should take for granted. They work hard, train under grueling conditions, face unfathomable pressure, and are called upon to make sacrifices that would cause the rest of us to join a picket line, or seek other employment.
My brother went on to serve a second tour in Iraq, and thankfully, he came home to us safely once again. Shortly after his second tour, he left the Army with an honorable discharge. The man that I knew on the day he enlisted is not the man I know today. The Army changed my brother in a lot of ways, most of them for the good.
During those days when he was overseas, we hoped he would come home safely but we never knew for sure. Those days helped me appreciate the days that I do get to spend with him. I have never looked at our military members the same.
Now when my family is in a restaurant and we see someone wearing a uniform, we notice. On multiple occasions we have anonymously paid for the meals of Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors, and Marines. When I see a member of our armed forces in an airport, I take a minute and thank them for their service. My eyes well up with pride as I think about their hard work and commitment to our country.
I no longer take Memorial Day for granted. While it may be a day that I eat some delicious grilled hamburgers, I now realize that without the men and women of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard, I would not be able to enjoy that meal and time with my family.
If you’ve put on the uniform and served our country I want you to know how much I appreciate and respect you. If you have a family member who did not come home safely, I’m sorry. I can not imagine your pain. I hope the knowledge that not only myself, but millions of other Americans recognize your sacrifice, appreciate your loss, and honor all of you this day, brings you peace.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
If you’ve enjoyed this episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday, I would be grateful if you’d leave a review in iTunes.
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