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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Stephanie Zimmer, (my new listening obsession is the soundtrack to Hamilton), and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a lesson I learned from walking away from my job.
Today’s Fun Fact: On June 30th, 1955, The “Johnny Carson Show” debuted on CBS-TV. The half-hour program was one of the first starring vehicles for Carson, a Los Angeles-based comedian who came to the network’s attention as a monologue writer for The Red Skelton Show.
One could say it was a practice run for his eventual role as the long-running host of NBC’s The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Ironically the CBS show wasn’t well-received, and was cancelled eleven months later. Soon after, Carson was named host of the daytime game show, Who Do You Trust?, a role he held until being tapped by NBC to replace Jack Paar on The Tonight Show.
What I Learned Yesterday
I have been involved with church music practically from birth. My dad was a song leader in his church, so I grew up listening to his music and going with him to his church practices. It’s no surprise that because of this influence, I too became involved in music from an early age.
I started piano lesson on November 14th, 1988. Don’t ask me why I remember the date so clearly, but I celebrate it every year with a shout-out to my first piano teacher on Facebook. I sang in the children’s choir all through grade school, which included changing schools in 7th grade when my school closed. I played handbells for a few occasions. In high school, I joined the adult choir and started helping out the choir director when I was off school. We formed a very close friendship, one that was maintained for many years after she left the position. I started as a song leader with the children’s choir and eventually became a full-fledged leader with the adult choir. I started organ lessons and continued them through high school and college with a few teachers.
I studied music at Alverno College and had piano as my first instrument. Recitals, juries, music classes and much more were part of the music education curriculum. After college I taught music in Catholic schools for 10 years. I decided to finally step away from this profession in 2013, after seeing my first K4 class graduate from 8th grade.
After a few more music directors came through the church over the years, the church hit a financial crisis causing the loss of several staff members. Over the next year, an administrator priest worked to get us back in the black and move forward with the music program. In the interim I was brought on to assist the choir aided by the sponsorship of a parishioner. By 2006, the church was finally able to offer the position again and I applied. The priest was looking for someone with a liturgy background so I looked into theology grad schools. I pursued an education at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago, a mere 3.5 hour commute via car, train and bus. It was around this time that I first discovered podcasts with my first iPod, so the commutes were much easier with great content to listen to.
In 2014 I left my parish home after 8 years working on the staff and 20 years as a parishioner. I was heartbroken to discover that there was no official acknowledgement of my service after so long. For the last several months of my time there I pursued other positions as I realised I had gone as far as I could there. The week after I had finished, I started my new job at another parish, excited by the possibilities ahead.
Unfortunately, things were not so great from the start. It was my uphill battle from the very beginning because of several things that were going on within the culture, one of which greatly affected the music program. I did the best I could and while I made some strides in improvement, I never really felt comfortable there.
The situation was worsened by several things that happened in March of this year. A stressful situation was brought on which caused a great deal of heartache and emotional pain for my husband and myself. We managed to continue there despite a great deal of turmoil that affected our marriage for a time. It became apparent over the next few months that it would be soon time to leave for our emotional health. I started to look for other jobs and I stayed there during the interim. We were in the process of deciding when we wanted to leave but other circumstances caused this date to be moved up.
The parish was notified a few weeks ago that I would be leaving on July 1st. Little by little I heard from parishioners thanking me for my service and wishing me well. I went on several interviews over a few weeks and hoped for the best. This past Sunday I played for my last mass at this church. I was pleased to see that this time my leaving would be acknowledged and that I wouldn’t be leaving in tears as I had from my previous church. Tomorrow I have my last official duty to play for a wedding and after that I will be done.
As the summer continues, I have no employment. I’ve had a job of some kind since 1999. Sure, I’ve had some free summers in between school years when I wasn’t working at a camp, but this will be the first summer that won’t lead to another job unless something dramatically changes in the near future. Sacrifices will have to be made to make it through this summer until my husband returns to his school in September. He has a few summer jobs that will help. At the same time, we are preparing to move in the Fall. I recognize that this hiatus can’t last forever because my husband would like to retire within the next few years. Despite all of these challenges, we still decided to leave that place of security into the place of the unknown.
Life is a series of seasons. Right now I am in a season of transition. It’s an uncomfortable place to be because I want to be in a place of stability where I can feel confident that we’re going to be okay financially.
Here’s what I learned.
You sometimes you have to do that thing that is uncomfortable; to leap off of the trapeze without knowing if there’s a net to catch you. I know that my husband and I are going to be okay. Although I wish things were different for us right now, I know that God is in control and will see us through this season. I just have to leap off the trapeze and trust that there will be something there to catch me. My faith in God and trust in my marriage is what’s going to get me through this. Until I find my net, I just have to hope and pray that it will be there when I need it.
I’m Stephanie Zimmer, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
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