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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I got my first cell phone, the HTC Tilt, in 2008 , and I believe if you are learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I you the story of when I finally broke down and got my daughter a cell phone.

Today’s Fun Fact: Since today’s story will focus on cell phones, it seems fitting to share some cell phone facts with you today.

• The first mobile phone was the Motorola Dyna TAC 8000X invented in 1983. It could store 30 contacts, weighed nearly 2.5 lbs, had a talk time of 30 minutes, and cost nearly $4,000.
• The first smart phone was made by IBM and launched on August 16, 1994. It had a touch screen and came loaded with a calendar, calculator, address book, and note pad.
• Mobile phones carry 18 times more bacteria than toilet handles?
• The most common activity on a cell phone isn’t calling or texting, but rather, checking the time.

What I Learned Yesterday:
When is the appropriate age for a child to get a phone?

We live in a town that has a wide spectrum of income levels. We have a large percentage of the population is that is lower income, but we also have a lot of households that have a lot of money. There are definitely more households at the higher end of the spectrum than there are at the lower end of the spectrum. In fact, our town is seen by many outsiders as a rich town.

I don’t see it that way, but I understand why others do. After all, there are houses that I drive by and look at with shock. They are incredibly big, incredibly beautiful, and incredibly expensive. Our neighborhood is very middle class and we’re very happy here. However, our kids go to school with a lot of kids who come from houses with a lot of money, and opinions that vary from our own.

For example, we don’t give our kids a lot of things, and when we do, they often aren’t the latest things. That is, our kids don’t have either of the latest generation gaming consoles from Sony or Microsoft. They do have an Xbox 360, and even that was purchased used and well after the newer model of the Xbox was available.

Another example is that we don’t plan on purchasing cars for our kids. We may help them purchase a vehicle or match what they are able to save, but they will have to work for and pay the expenses for their own cars.

And as you might have guessed, we don’t think that our preteen children need to have cell phones. Some of our kid’s classmates started carrying cell phones as early as 4th and 5th grade. That blew my mind. If I was a single parent or my kids were left home alone for a period of time without parental supervision, I could possibly see them getting a cell phone at that age. Otherwise, it just seems like an unnecessary expense.

When our daughter started middle school, she immediately started complaining that “all” her friends had cell phones and she felt left out because she didn’t have one. At first we thought she was exaggerating, but as time went on we realized that we really were one of the very few parents who had not given their kid a cell phone.

To us it still seemed like a waste of money. After all, our daughter got on the school bus each day, went to school, and rode the school bus home. Why did she need a phone for that? She tried telling us that her teachers required her to have a cell phone to complete certain assignments. But after speaking with her teacher we learned that the phone app was not required and was easily accessible via a website. Funny how our daughter had failed to remember that little detail.

A year ago my iPhone 4s stopped making cell phone calls and I was having difficultly connecting with my clients. So I upgraded to the iPhone 6 and gave the 4s to my daughter. Granted, it didn’t work as a cell phone nor did it work for text messaging, but it did work as an audio player, camera, and my daughter was allowed to download certain apps, as long as her mom or I approved the app first.

She was thrilled! It turned out that she was perfectly happy with the appearance of having a functional phone. It seems shallow, but then, I know how she feels. Fitting in is very important and one of the most challenging things about middle and high school. Shallow, yes. But totally understandable.

This school year has been a challenge. She’s venturing out more as we’re giving her more trust and responsibilities. She’s able to cross a major street to go to Sonic Drive-In with her friends. She’s able to go to neighboring neighborhoods and play with friends, and we even let her walk home from school as long as she checks in first and she’s with a group of friends.

As that added responsibility has been given, there have been numerous times where we’ve wanted to get in touch with her to get an update on her status, but we were unable to do so. Pretty much all of her friends have cell phones, so she’s usually good about using one of their phones to check in, but when she loses track of time, we’re left wondering what’s going on.

With the summer approaching and the foresight to know that she’ll be venturing out even more and have even more chances to leave us wondering about her, we decided it was time to break down and get her a phone.

Our timing was perfect as our cell carrier is currently running a fantastic sale on the iPhone 5s.

Now remember, Addison has been hoping for and dreaming about a cell phone for years. To say that this was going to make her day is an understatement. I had to make this surprise a good one.

I ordered the phone and a phone case so that they’d arrive on the same day. I activated the phone, set up all the parental controls, and set an alarm to go off shortly before dinner. I set the alarm sound to match the ringtone of my wife’s phone. I then put the phone back in the box and hid the box in the living room. I also took the unopened phone case package an put it in my office. I positioned it in such a way that when she got home from school and came to seem me, she would see it. And I knew that her curiosity would take over from there.

Soon after Addison arrived home from school she came to seem me in my office. Sure enough she almost instantly grabbed the padded envelope containing the phone case. When she asked what was inside, I nonchalantly told her it was a new phone case that I ordered and she was free to go ahead and open it.

I can’t stress enough that what happened over the course of the next 3 hours could not have gone more perfectly. She did everything exactly as I expected and fell perfectly into my plan.

Now, I’ve failed to mention that the 4s is now in really bad shape. One of the cameras has stopped working altogether and the other one is very moody about when it wants to work. And she has long since gotten over the satisfaction of having the appearance of a phone. She now understands how limiting it is to not have cell data and it’s a major point of frustration for her.

When I told her that it was a phone case, she started whining about how unfair it was that I was getting another case for my phone when she doesn’t even have a phone. That is, she doesn’t have a real phone. Her phone doesn’t have data and the cameras don’t work.

I just sat there and let her say all that was on her mind. And then I told her that she could go ahead and swap out the phone case. Of course, the case I ordered was for an iPhone 5s. My phone, which I upgraded last month, is a 6s. So the case didn’t fit. She started laughing at me. I played dumb. “Are you sure it doesn’t fit?” She just laughed at me even louder. I then told her to go see if it would fit on her mom’s iPhone 6. Of course it didn’t.

Then I had a great idea. I said, “Maybe it will fit the 4s.” She insisted that it wouldn’t because the 5s is bigger than the 4s but smaller than the 6. “Are you sure?” “Ugh! Let me got get my phone and I’ll prove it to you.” She quickly returned, and just as she said, it didn’t fit. I continued to play dumb.

She then asked me what I was going to do with it. I told her I’d probably throw it away. It had only cost me $3 and wasn’t worth returning to Amazon.

Admittedly, what happened next was not part of my expectation. She then remembered that one of her friends has a 5s and offered to call her friend and give her the case. A few moments later she had completed the deal. She had just given away her new phone case to her friend. I could hardly contain my enjoyment of how beautifully my plan was going.

Over the next hour or two I checked in on her as she was chatting with her friends. Each time I saw her she made fun of me. She said things like, “You’re supposed to be knowledgeable on tech stuff, but I know more about iPhones than you do!” I loved it.

About 10 minutes before the phone alarm was set to go off, I called her into the living room. Kari was not feeling well, so it was up to me to get dinner. That meant that we were going to be eating out and I used that as an excuse to get her into the living room to discuss food options.

Right on cue, the alarm sounded. My plan was to act like it was Kari’s phone and ask Addi if she’d answer it. I didn’t have to do that. As soon as the ring tone sounded, Addi jumped off the sofa and headed over to Kari’s phone to answer it. When she realized it wasn’t ringing, she was confused. She continued to follow the sound until she discovered the little white box hidden behind a picture frame on the fireplace mantle.

She didn’t know what to make of it. Her mom and I sat perched on the couch grinning like cheshire cats. “What is this?” I replied, “It’s your phone.” She stood there confused, not knowing if she could believe the words I’d just spoken, or perhaps trying to figure out if she’d heard me correctly.

A moment later realization set in and she went crazy. She screamed and jumped and thanked us over and over again. She gave us hugs and nearly even cried. She was genuinely grateful for what she’d just received.

I said, “Hey, I wonder if that new phone case will fit that phone?” She called her friend and told her that she’d be keeping the phone case for herself, and I enjoyed the rest of the evening as I got to remind her over and over again that I just might know a thing or two about tech stuff after all.

Here’s what I learned.

Times are changing. Our original plan was to get our kids a cell phone when they started driving. We thought that before then, it would be a waste to get them a phone. I think I also thought back to when I was a kid. I would ride my bike around the dirt roads for miles around our house and it was no big deal. My parents didn’t always know where I was and that was never a problem.

Is that true? I’m sure that’s not the case. I’m sure there were plenty of times when my parents would have liked to be able to call me or my brothers up and find out where we were, tell us to get home for dinner, or just make sure we were okay. Of course, cell phones weren’t a viable option in those days.

Of course, those were different times too. We lived out in the country and there was never any thought given to abductions, violent acts, or any of those things that our schools and society seem to be filled with today.

Times are also changing in that my baby girl is growing up and giving her the phone acknowledges that. She’s becoming more independent, but also needs to be able to have direct access to us as she’s out there doing her thing with her friends. All of us are more comfortable now that we have the ability to instantly check in at any time.

So I’ve learned that the appropriate age for our daughter to get a phone turned out to be a couple of years earlier than I thought. But I also learned that by not giving it to her right away caused her to appreciate it more and she understands the value it holds more than I think she otherwise would have. Her genuine appreciation and gratitude upon receiving the phone helped me realize that we did in fact make the right choice. Not bad for a guy who can’t even figure out what size of case to buy for his iPhone.

I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.

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