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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, my family and I helped pack up over 26,000 meals at our local food bank over the weekend, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a lesson about perspective, told with story and song.
Today’s Fun Fact of the Day is: There is an opera house on the U.S.–Canada border where the stage is in one country and half the audience is in another. The U.S. side is in Derby Line, VT and the Canadian side is in Stanstead, QC.
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What I Learned Yesterday:
Today’s episode is about perspective. I’ve spoken on this topic several times before, but that’s because I believe it is incredibly important. It’s not only important, but it’s a topic that needs to be looked at from many different angles to fully appreciate. Last week I had coffee with a good friend of mine and the topic of perspective came up. He’s a pastor and he shared how interesting it is to see people in different situations. He talks with people all the time who are going through difficult times, but the thing that sets people apart is their perspective. I totally agree. Our perspective while we are in the midst of challenges often dictates how challenging those times will be. If nothing else, our perspective will determine how bearable those times will be.
A few weeks ago I got a call from my grandma. She was in need of someone to take her to the store to get a few groceries. I don’t mind taking her to the store or to do other things, but I don’t have to do it very often. My dad will take her to the store just about every week, and she has a friend from her church that takes her quite often as well. So when she calls me, it’s usually because her other options haven’t worked out.
That was certainly the case when she called me this time. Not only that, her friend from church let her know that he would not be able to take her anywhere anymore, except to pick her up from church and take her home from church. She said that she wasn’t sure what she’d done to make him stop liking her, but she was sure that that was the case.
I then asked her to tell me what he said. The man that drives her around is nearly the same age as she is. I’m not quite sure how old he is, but my grandma will be 90 in a few months. He told my grandma that it’s getting hard for him to see and it’s causing him trouble when he drives. He said that he turned the wrong way down a one-way street and nearly caused an accident.
Because the near miss had him so shaken up, he’s decided to cut back on his driving, and doesn’t want to put anyone’s life in danger. Therefore, he will no longer be able to drive my grandma to the store or other places. The only exception he would make is that he would still take her to church and back.
She finished telling me the story and then reaffirmed that she couldn’t figure out what she’d done to upset him.
She said that people aren’t as caring as they used to be. She mentioned the Bible verse that commands those in the church to take care of widows and orphans. She said that when grandpa was alive there was a widow in their church and they picked her up every week and took her to church, but now it seemed as though those times were gone.
I have to admit, I lost my cool again. I couldn’t believe what she just said. I mean, did she even hear the words coming out of her own mouth?
The story that she told me of why the man from her church would no longer be able to drive her around town seemed legitimate. There’s no reason for him to make up a story like that so I couldn’t figure out why she was upset with him. Furthermore, he said that he would take her to church. So for her to give the example of what she and grandpa did to take the other lady to church and make it seem like they did something more caring or considerate than what he was doing seemed like nothing less than blind hypocrisy.
We went through the story again to see if I’d misunderstood something, but I hadn’t. I tried to explain to her how I thought he was actually being considerate and caring, but she didn’t see it that way. To her, she had done nothing wrong to him and certainly nothing to deserve the treatment of not driving her around town anymore.
After I got off the phone with her I shared the info with my wife. I thought that maybe she would be able to make better sense out of my grandma’s perspective than I could. However, that was not the case. Both of us were bewildered by her logic.
I’ve told stories like this about my grandma before, and I truly don’t understand her negative perspective. It’s a source of a lot of frustration for me. I thought about it quite a bit over the next few days, wondering how she got to be so negative. Sometimes it seems like she goes out of her way to come up with the negative outlook on things.
My dad is not that way at all, and neither am I. I’m so glad we didn’t inherit whatever it is that causes her to look at life this way. I think she causes herself an incredible amount of grief, worry, and heartache because of her negative perspective.
As I realized that this would become a SILY episode, my mind shifted to you. I thought of the stories that many of you have shared. Last Friday’s episode included a great story from Geoff where he talked about how disappointment brought him insight and growth. I love his perspective.
I also thought about Justina. She has faced a lifetime of challenges and struggles, but her positive perspective has given her the strength to persevere. I think she’d even say that her difficulties have made her a stronger person.
Stories like these from Geoff and Justina inspire me. They make me stronger and they help me keep a positive perspective. Of course, it’s not just Geoff and Justina. Dozens of you have called in your stories of strength, perseverance, and perspective. You also inspire me.
Today I want to encourage all of us to look for the positive in every situation. For my grandma, she could feel good that her friend cared enough about her to keep her from harm. However, he also cares enough about her spiritually to make sure she gets a ride to church. She could be grateful that she still has other options to get her to and from the grocery store.
I want to close out today’s episode in a different way.
Some of you may recall that my dad is a Hank Williams Sr. tribute artist. One of the songs that Hank wrote is called Everything’s Okay. Last week I asked my dad to come over to my studio and record that song so I could include it in today’s episode. I think the message is the perfect ending and will help us all to maintain a positive perspective.
Here’s the song, Everything’s Okay, written by Hank Williams under the pseudonym Luke the Drifter, recorded by Larry Darnell.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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