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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I almost burned my kitchen down over the weekend, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share lessons I’ve learned from criticism.
Today’s Fun Fact of the Day is: Some turtle species, like the North American Eastern Painted Turtle, can breathe through their butts.
Friday Forum
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What I Learned Yesterday:
Isn’t criticism great? Don’t you love it when someone criticizes you? My personal favorite is when I get criticized by someone who has no idea what they’re talking about. Okay, I’m not fooling anyone. Criticism stinks and we all know it.
When I made the decision to start podcasting, I never once thought about any criticism that might come in. It never even entered my mind. It didn’t take too long for some stinging comments to start coming in. Here are a few of them: Read More…
“Hosts are really lame and nerdy, the one guy that actually knows anything about the show has a funny lisp…the chick kind of ruins it with her personality…the good points are the episode recap and the science of tomorrow segment…the bad points are the lisp, the chick, and someone from “Canadia” who seems to end most of the show by reading off a rant about this weeks episode.”
“The hosts have no idea what they are talking about, and get side tracked on stupid things…they offer no insight into any kind of science other than saying “its not possible” or “Oh, maybe.”…Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time.”
“The numbskulls who preside over this podcast are not nearly as interesting as they think. It is a total and complete abomination.”
I have to admit, when those reviews first came in, they stung. They did more than sting, they messed with my head. The one that talked about my lisp really bothered me. It made me incredibly insecure and I wondered if I should continue podcasting.
Recently a couple of my podcasting friends got their first taste of bad reviews. They came to me looking for insight on how to deal with it. I read the negative feedbacks and helped them as best as I could. In one case, the feedback was really off base. It accused the podcast of drifting from their original format and told them that the new format was a waste of time. The odd thing is, the podcast has maintained a consistent format since it began over a year ago.
The second feedback was really odd. It came in from someone that was a fairly interactive part of their podcast. That particular podcast has a Facebook page and the person is often over there chatting with them and other members of the page. So it came as quite a surprise when they got a review saying that this person didn’t like the hosts.
Those are the reviews that really hurt. They have a personal bite to them and they can really take all the wind out of your sails.
Have you experienced that too. Maybe not in the form of a podcast review, but in some other area of your life?
Here’s another example from my life. At my old job we were awarded a certificate of recognition every 5 years. Since I left in my 18th year, the certificate I got for my 15 year anniversary was the last I received. The certificates are given out at quarterly staff meetings by each employee’s direct supervisor. My supervisor was the company president. Each supervisor was given a list of 20 – 30 character attributes and asked to pick the one they felt MOST described the person receiving the award. Here’s the word and description I received for my 15 year certificate.
Creativity: Darrell approaches a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective. Darrell uses his skills, background, and training to provide creative solutions for the responsibilities of his department. Darrell works to find ways to solve problems he faces that provide new and unique solutions for our company.
Two years later my boss left and I began reporting to a different person. A year after that I received this comment from him during my annual review:
Innovation (imagination and creativity used to lower costs and improve profits): Darrell never offers a new procedure or new idea. (I was given the lowest possible score for this area.)
Here’s what I’ve learned.
Criticism is coming. Honestly, if you’re not getting some form of criticism, you’re probably playing it too safe.
Criticism is helpful. Whenever I get criticism I try to look at it with an open mind. When I do, I’m able to look at it more objectively and see what positive things I can take from it.
Not all criticism is accurate. Who was right about me, the boss who said the thing that most described me was creativity, or my boss who scored me at a zero for creativity? Honestly, I don’t think creativity is my most dominate attribute, but I’m certainly not a zero either. The point here is that from each person’s perspective, they graded me accurately. Criticism or praise is always given from a perspective. Don’t ever let either one of them go to your head.
Which brings me to my last point.
Stay humble. You may think that this is an odd point to include in an episode that has focused primarily on criticism. I mean, people don’t usually deal with pride or arrogance when they’ve been criticized. I disagree.
When people criticize, one reaction is to blow them off or not give the criticism any value. If you know the source of the criticism really well, then there could certainly be reason to completely disregard it or not give it any value. However, most of the time, if we don’t allow ourselves to look at the criticism with an open mind, then we are not maintaining humility. If we aren’t maintaining humility, then we’re out of balance and that needs to be fixed.
Here’s what I’ve done. In my house I have the praise that I received from my first boss set in a place where I can see it regularly. Every time I see it I think of the praise he gave me and I immediately think of the criticism my other boss gave me. As a backup, I also have the criticism from my second boss in a spot where I can get to it any time I want to. If I’m feeling either too proud or too deflated, I go to these items.
I look at those words because they remind me of what I can be. They remind me of my good times and my bad times. They remind me of how far I’ve come in my journey, and they remind me that I can’t please everyone.
And that’s the reality of it, right? We can’t please everyone. However, if we remain humble, keep an open mind, look at learning opportunities in criticism, and allow criticism to make us better, then we’ll be better prepared for tomorrow, and better equipped to do our part to make the world a better place.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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