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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Mandy Wichert. I don’t like running, but I’m still thinking of signing up for a 5k Color Run, because I DO like color and would love to run through some fantastic color bombs, to finish victorious looking like a rainbow piñata! Has anyone in the SILY community ever done this? Tell us about it in the Friday Forums or in our Facebook group! I would love to hear your stories and learn from you, because I believe, if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living! In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I’m talking about loosening the grips on fear to experience new things.
Here’s a fun fact about color: Did you know that the color wheel that we use today, which is the best tool to date to help us comprehend the colors we see and which helps us understand primary, secondary and tertiary colors was invented in 1666 by Sir Isaac Newton?
Friday Forum
I want you to be a part of the Friday Forum! Friday Forum is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU. It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long. It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others. You can participate in Friday Forum by visiting our Feedback Page or calling our voice feedback line at 304-837-2278.
What I Learned Yesterday:
I remember in 1996 when we first got the internet at my home. Of course, it was nothing like today. Many of you can remember receiving the AOL CD’s in the mail, popping them into your computer’s CD drive, loading them up for the first time, then waiting through the agonizingly long dial up ring tones, (the tones of which are permanently etched into my brain) to connect to a relatively clunky space filled with endless possibility. I certainly do!
I would rush home after a busy day at school and extra-curriculars to seek out information about my favorite bands, to compile research for papers and to make friends in forums and chat rooms. Instant messenger wasn’t even around yet, so most of the communication I had with actual people was a little tedious, while each of us was waiting for the other to respond. I was extremely cautious online, and with good reason. It was new territory full of possible predators and I had been cautioned about letting anyone know too much about myself.
One day, shortly after I joined, which was late in the year, I made a friend. We met in a chat room discussing a few of our favorite bands. We began an innocent friendship chatting back and forth, and mainly, exchanging emails like pen-pals would. He lived in Missouri and I lived in Oklahoma, but we were both the same age, and shared a lot of similar interests and values. One day, sometime the next year, he asked if we could talk on the phone, which surprised me and scared me a little bit, but he told me his parents requested to speak with mine first. I nervously made the arrangements with my Mom, not quite knowing what to expect. She spoke to his Mom and we were allowed to chat occasionally over the phone and wrote snail mail as well.
My Mom would occasionally ask about how my friend was doing and I would share with her things that he and I had discussed and the jokes that we shared back and forth. One thing that developed over time, was that we figured out our own handle for saying “Goodbye”, so that we could leave our conversations more open-ended than such a final “Bye”. At one point, he said he would “Grey Poupon” me later and it kind of stuck. We ended most conversations that way.
After we had been getting to know each other for some time, my friend invited me to his Junior Prom. Amazingly, when I asked my Mom if I could go, she said Yes, and we began making plans for a road trip. My Mom surprised me with her spontaneity and sense of adventure that day, but she had proved this to be true many times previously, so I really had no need to be at at all surprised, but that trip helped me appreciate it even more.
The dance was actually going to be held in the hotel that we booked a room in, which was both intentional and convenient. I remember the first awkward meeting in person, and getting prepared for the dance. I was so nervous. I mean, we’ve all heard the stories about people being “Catfished” and traveling to meet someone they met online only to discover they were someone else entirely. What if my friend was really a 50-year-old man! Fortunately, as soon as I saw him, I felt so thankful that my friend was both who he said he was, and exactly as I had thought he would be based on all of our correspondence.
It was interesting too, because I remember the buzz about me being the girl that he met on the internet. A lot of people came over and made comments about how he was lucky I was who I said I was, so I know we were both excited and most of all, relieved! Prom was a really big community event, so before we went in, they formally announced each couple attending. I remember getting ready and being announced to his community. I also remember meeting his best friend and his family, all of whom I had heard so much about. We drove all over town, and he introduced me to many of the places that he and his friends enjoyed spending time, caused a ruckus at Walmart, we ate crab wontons and then we danced and danced, I in my lime green sequin dress, he in his black tux!
When the night came to a close, most of the dates were plucking single balloons from the elaborate dance décor, but my friend grabbed the entire balloon arch and escorted me back to my room stringing an army of balloons behind us as we went. The entire event was so much fun and really helped me gain confidence in my ability to go new places and try new things. I felt so special and really on top of the world. Everything went even better than I had imagined in my head. Having my Mom close at hand was reassuring, and knowing that my friend was a complete gentleman also put me at ease.
We had really grown to know a lot about one-another over our long-distance friendship and being able to meet in person for such a momentous occasion really solidified that friendship. We kept up with each other over the years, and I was overjoyed to get to meet his beautiful wife whom I had also heard so many great things about, years later. They even made the arduous journey to Clint and my wedding and we were able to enjoy a great camping trip together later as well. Though we haven’t seen each other really since having children and starting families, I am able to keep up with him and his family again in the most apt way possible – through the internet.
So What Did I Learn?
There were several days leading up to the dance when I almost got cold feet about the entire trip, but with the support of my family, and with their willingness to take me the distance, I was able to embark on a great adventure and meet a lifelong friend in person. Was the experience terrifying for a brief moment, yes. The few minutes before the door opened and my friend greeted me were really nerve-wracking. I had so many expectations of who he would be. What he would look like, what his personality would be like, even the friends he described so vividly in our fun chats back and forth.
Of course, our parents had discussed quite a few details before this whole adventure took place, which is why my mom was confident in my going. She encouraged me to fly and then let me spread my wings. I needed that push to be brave and bold in a new circumstance. She also taught me that fear itself only holds you back. Things could have gone terribly wrong, and she prepared me for the what-if scenarios, just in case, but they were wonderful instead and I came away from the experience braver, bolder, more self-assured and less afraid of embarking on new adventures as time went on.
We took precautions and she taught me this part of the process as well, but my adventurous spirit is still part of who I am, and a part of me that I am proud of. Trying new things and going new places was daunting and scary, but if we hadn’t driven the distance and opened the door, the night would have never happened and I never would have returned home with an army of balloons and such incredible memories. Sometimes you have to cut the ropes that hold you back, the ropes of fear and self-doubt, open the door to greet new opportunity and just enjoy where life takes you.
I’m Mandy Wichert and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
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