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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Derek Olsen, my favorite movie is The Big Lebowski, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share how my wife and I use a decision filter to make choices in our life…
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Now, let’s get to today’s show.
What I Learned Yesterday:
Previously on SILY. Haha, I just wanted to hear myself say that.
But for real, on yesterday’s episode, episode 122, Darrell asked two great questions that I’m going to reply to.
Well okay, one statement that I’ll reply to and one question that I’ll answer.
Statement: Just because an opportunity is a good one doesn’t make it the right one.
Question: What are you doing that is keeping you from reaching your goals?
Let’s take the statement first.
Just because an opportunity is a good one doesn’t make it the right one.
I couldn’t agree more. But man, that’s a hard lesson to learn.
Turning down a good opportunity could appear counter intuitive at first. Let me explain how my wife and I make decisions, it might help us understand how turning down a good opportunity makes room for great opportunities.
My wife and I have almost monthly conversations about our future. Just recently we planned out the rest of 2014 and all of 2015. That must have taken hours and filled up an entire notebook you might think.
Not at all.
It took about an hour and a half and only one sheet of paper to write it all down. The next fifteen months of our life are split into three month segments, or quarters. Our goals for the way we want our life to look are written out on each quarter. To make things even more simple we sometimes only use one word to describe the goal. I mean, we know what the word means, so we don’t have to write an entire page for each goal.
We are able to keep things so simple because we use what is called a decision filter. A decision filter is basically a series of questions that help guide your choices. You would compare the answers against a previously determined set of requirements to then determine what course of action to take.
Like I said, we have a monthly meeting to check in on each other and on our life to make sure things are still going in the right direction. Sometimes we have to change course. Sometimes we even get rid of a goal or two and replace those old goals with new ones. Sometimes we get rid of a goal and don’t replace it with anything.
Let me give one example, or filter, that we run ideas through. Carrie and I run a business that encourages couples to have better conversation about money. So when we are asked to write articles for a publication, be interviewed on a podcast, or appear at an in person event, we run the idea through our decision filter. If the request doesn’t support our goals and allow us to work within our God give talents, we almost always turn it down. If the request is in line, we say yes as often as we can.
Turning down a request might appear rude or selfish at first. But turning down the wrong things is precisely what gives us the time, energy, and resources to say yes to the right things and help the right people. Having a decision filter in place helps us make these choices.
The question Darrell asked was…
What are you doing that is keeping you from reaching your goals?
At those monthly goal-setting meetings we often find ourselves answering this very question.
Are there activities that we are devoting time, energy, and resources to that don’t support our goals and do we need to stop in order to make more room for activities that do support our goals?
One of the reasons we find ourselves answering this question isn’t because we made a wrong decision somewhere in the past that we now have to undo. It’s not because we didn’t properly use our decision filter correctly the first time around. It’s because even if the activity supported our goals at the time we got involved doesn’t mean that it continues to support our goals today.
Imagine a life were once you committed to doing something you could never quit. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to continue dedicating my time to things that my 19 year old self found important at the time.
People change and goals change and your priorities should change to reflect your new goals and the new you.
So every now and then when we ask the question what are we doing that is keeping us from reaching your goals? the answer encourages us to quit doing wasteful things with confidence.
We’ve quit a lot of things over the previous five years. And because of that we have been able to pursue many things, things that are more inline with our current goals.
With our decision filter helping us make these choices we can act quickly and with confidence. We can also better explain to anyone who might be on the receiving end of the decision how and why we made our choice. People always understand when we explain that we are making our choice based on if the project supports our goals. I mean, how could you not understand.
Statement: Just because an opportunity is a good one doesn’t make it the right one.
Question: What are you doing that is keeping you from reaching your goals?
To create your own decision filter..
Set goals.
Revisit them often.
Have a plan.
Run your choices through your decision filter.
And you will be making better decisions more quickly and with greater confidence.
Let me know how it goes for you. And let me know if you use something like a decision filter.
I’m Derek Olsen and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
I’d like to give you a free book. It’s call 4 ½ Conversation Start
ers. This little e-book is perfect if you and your partner would like to get on the same page in the finance department of your marriage.
Visit derekandcarrie.com to get your free copy of 4 ½ Conversation Starters right now. And if you just can’t get enough, check out my other podcast called Better Conversations on Money and Marriage.
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