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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Derek Olsen, I had Cheerios for breakfast, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I tell a short story about becoming a stay at home dad.
Friday Forum:
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Now, let’s get to today’s show.
What I Learned Yesterday:
Our daughter Amelie is now four and a half months old. I am madly in love with her. She brings more joy to my life than I ever imagined possible. When our daughter was born my wife Carrie took two months off from her job. After the two months was up it was time for her to go back to her full time job. I work for myself and have flexible hours so it made sense for me to take care of our daughter during the day.
I didn’t know what to expect staying home all day with a baby. And trust me, there is no way to describe it until you have done it for yourself. All of you stay at home parents know what I mean.
I really wanted to continue my writing and be productive. Well, that didn’t exactly work out at first. The first two weeks were really hard. I think our daughter had to get used to being with dad all day. It took her two weeks to setting into our new routine.
Those first two weeks were really hard on me too. I had plans to get a bunch of work done and I ended up getting almost nothing done. I started feeling worthless. I’m an achiever and really need to be productive in order to feel good about myself.
I realized quickly that being productive just wasn’t part of the deal. So I scaled back on the amount of tasks that I wanted to accomplish each day. But everyday it seemed like I would put stuff on my to do list for the next day. Then, the day, like I should have known, I wasn’t able to complete my to do list. Now I feel double bad. Not only am I not being productive, but I’m leaving undone tasks on my to do list which is something I can’t stand.
Then one day it hit me.
Staying home taking care of our daughter is the most productive thing I’ve ever done and probably ever will do. I’m accomplishing something amazing by being there for my daughter.
And even further, I’m having an experience that a lot of dads don’t get to have. I’m spending hours and hours taking care of my daughter and watching her grow. It’s been the most amazing two months of my life.
I’m so glad I get to create this bond between me and my daughter. It won’t always be this way. We have plans to bring my wife home full time too and when that happens I won’t have this special time with my daughter, it will be different. If we have any more kids, Carrie will most likely be the primary caregiver in the future.
So while I’m not as productive work-wise as I would like to be, I am still doing great work. This whole experience has been a valuable lesson for me. I’ve learned to let go of feeling bad when I’m not producing work and the volume I want. I’ve learned that there are more important things in life. And I’ve learned that raising kids is a unique experience that can’t be replaced with anything else.
I’m Derek Olsen and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
I’d like to give you a free book. It’s call 4 ½ Conversation Starters. This little e-book is perfect if you and your partner would like to get on the same page in the finance department of your marriage.
Visit derekandcarrie.com to get your free copy of 4 ½ Conversation Starters right now. And if you just can’t get enough, check out my other podcast called Better Conversations on Money and Marriage.
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