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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, last weekend, for the first time in my life, I beat my brother at golf, and I believe if you are learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share a story about hot coffee and hamburgers.
Today’s Fun Fact: Given the subject matter of today’s episode, I thought it might be fun to look at the history of the hamburger in today’s fun fact segment. (source: Wikipedia)
The hamburger most likely first appeared in the 19th or early 20th century. The modern hamburger was a product of the culinary needs of a society rapidly changing due to industrialization and therefore having less time to prepare and consume meals.
Americans contend they were the first to combine two slices of bread and a steak of ground beef into a “hamburger sandwich” and sell it. Part of the controversy over the origin of the hamburger is because the two basic ingredients, bread and beef, were prepared and consumed separately for many years before their combination. Shortly after its creation, the hamburger was prepared with all of the now typically characteristic trimmings, including onions, lettuce, and sliced pickles.
After various controversies in the 20th century, including a nutritional controversy in the late 1990s, the burger is now readily identified with the United States, and a particular style of cuisine, namely fast food. Along with fried chicken and apple pie, the hamburger has become a culinary icon in the United States.
What I Learned Yesterday:
I got my first paying job at the age of 16. I spent that summer with my grandparents, I managed to get hired on at a nearby grocery store as a grocery bagger. Aside from bagging and carrying out groceries, I also swept the floors, took out the trash and did whatever else was needed. I enjoyed the job and enjoyed getting the chance to save up money to buy a car one day.
When the summer was over, I went back home to my small town and tried to find a job there. However, there weren’t a lot of places to work, especially if you didn’t have a car. I applied at the local grocery store, but they weren’t hiring. The only other place for me to work was the local McDonald’s. You may think that if we were a big enough town to have a McDonald’s then we were a big enough town for other restaurants but that’s not the case. The town I lived in only had about 850 people. The only reason we had a McDonald’s is the fact that our town was right on a turnpike that is the main traffic artery between Tulsa and Oklahoma City. Although the McDonald’s has since been torn down, it was the perfect distance away from Oklahoma City to supply motorists with necessary food, restrooms, and gasoline.
The only thing between my house and the McDonald’s was a field, so it seemed like the perfect spot to work. I could walk to work every day in less than 5 minutes. However, since it was one of the few places to work in town, getting hired there was difficult. I submitted my application every couple of weeks for months. Finally, after months of applying, I was called in for an interview and I got the job!
I worked the evening shift nearly every day of the week. From my very first day I was trained to work in the kitchen. I learned how to make all the burgers, salads, pies, McNuggets, and everything that was prepared behind the service counter. It was great. I got to work with other kids that I went to school with, I got along well with the various managers, and I was finally earning money again so I could eventually buy a car.
I worked hard and tried to always to my best. Of course, depending on which manager was on duty, we goofed off some nights more than others. Some of the managers were very strict about which food items we could eat during our break and other managers let us eat anything we wanted.
The first night I worked I was trained by a guy that was one grade higher than me at school. We got along well and had a good time. When it came time for break, we both made double quarter pounders with cheese, stacked on the pickles, and customized the burgers however we wanted. It was great.
The next night I wasn’t trained by the same guy nor was the same manager on duty. So when it came time for break, I made a burger just like the night before. When the manager saw what I was eating, she got on to me. I had not been told that we were only supposed to eat a small french fry and a regular cheeseburger. She was the main store manager and I learned right away that when she was on duty, we did everything by the book.
I respected her authority and certainly understood why she was more of a stickler to the food rules than the other managers. Since I showed her that respect and did things the way she wanted, we got along just fine. She wasn’t personable at all, but I didn’t really care.
Over the next couple of years I learned a lot. I learned how to work the breakfast shift, run the register, and even run the drive thru. The service counter had its own set of duties and routines, so it was always weird when I had to work up there. Back in the kitchen, I was confident, comfortable, and collected. A whole bus or two of students could suddenly walk in, and I could run the kitchen with no problems.
At that time, there three or four McDonald’s located on the turnpike between Tulsa and Oklahoma City and they were all owned by the same man. I have no idea what his first name was. We called him Mr. Bradley. Mr. Bradley was a great guy. If he came in and saw that we were getting slammed with a bus of people, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. He’d work behind the service counter or in the kitchen. He knew how to do any job in the restaurant.
Mr. Bradley loved encouraging his employees to learn and grow. Each year he gave a scholarship to one male graduating senior and one female graduating senior. It wasn’t a big scholarship, but it was enough to cover most of the cost of books each semester.
Since I was going to be responsible for paying my way through college, I really wanted that scholarship. I worked hard and tried to keep good relationships with everyone. I felt like I had a good chance. I was often called upon to train new employees, work on special tasks, and fill in when last minute needs arose.
About midway through the final semester of my senior year, Mr. Bradley announced the recipients of that year’s scholarships. I won the male scholarship, and my classmate Casey won the female scholarship.
Casey was also a great worker. She worked up front at the service counter, and we worked together just about every night. We also had nearly every single class together during the day, and we hung out with the same group of friends during lunch breaks. So Casey and I were around each other a lot.
I liked Casey, but I also found her annoying. She wasn’t always annoying, but there were times when she got on my last nerve and I couldn’t stand to be around her. Now I know this is going to shock you, but the truth is, there were times when I got on Casey’s last nerve and she couldn’t stand to be around me.
That’s pretty normal though, right? When you’re around someone that long day after day, conflict is going to happen. If we’d had a rough day with each other at school, the last thing either of us wanted to do is go to work and spend more time together.
Most of the time we just dealt with it. We remained professional and did the job we were paid to do, and spoke to each other as little as possible. We both liked it best that way.
One day, things came to a boil and a line was crossed.
All through the night we had been at each other. I don’t remember what started it or what either of us said. All I remember is that by the time the store closed, we were both seething mad at the other person.
During the closing process, I was in charge of closing up the kitchen, and she was in charge of closing up the service counter and drive thru area. She had to bring some of the dishes from her area through the kitchen to the sink, and I had to go into the service area to retrieve any food that might be left in the warming area. Other than that, we were able to keep to ourselves.
On this particular night as I was retrieving the food from the warming area, we didn’t keep our mouths shut. I don’t know who popped off first. Honestly, it could have been either of us. I do remember what happened next. Casey grabbed the coffee pot, pulled off the lid, and poured the coffee down my back. Fortunately, I saw it coming and managed to move out of the way. It barely even got on me and I wasn’t burned in any way.
I then turned toward her with a look of rage and she scurried back to the kitchen to put the coffee pot in the sink. As she headed back I grabbed a burger from the bin and packed it together like a snowball. As she crossed the back side of the kitchen I threw it as hard as I could toward her head. She ducked at the last moment and the burger stuck to the wall.
At that moment the manager on duty came out and stopped us. This fight was escalating quickly and had already gotten out of hand. She gave us both a tongue lashing and sent us back to finish closing down the store.
The next day when Casey and I arrived for work, the store manager was waiting on us. She called us both off to a table in the back of the restaurant and gave us another tongue lashing. She mentioned that as the scholarship winners, we were an embarrassment to the whole team and had betrayed the trust that Mr. Bradley had placed in us. We both kept our scholarships and our jobs, but we received a written warning and were placed on probation.
Here’s what I learned.
I look back on my actions now, and I’m embarrassed. I was embarrassed then too. I could say that I was an 18 year old kid and I’d had a bad day, but that’s not being genuine. I knew better. Casey knew better. We WERE better than that.
I’m now 40 and I’ve had to deal with a whole lot of conflict situations. Some of those situations were at my place of employment and some of those situations were within my own home. Any parent can tell you that there are times of deep frustration and conflict when trying to parent your children.
I’d like to say that I’ve never again reached a point where, if I could, I’d throw a cheeseburger at someone’s head, but that’s just not true. I’d like to say that I’ve never lost my cool and said things to my kids that I later regretted, but that’s just not true either.
So did I learn anything? Yes, of course.
Even though I’m not perfect and never will be perfect, I’ve learned that there are ways to avoid these situations. I’m happy to say that I’ve avoided these situations many more times than I’ve allowed myself to fall into them.
When I feel myself losing my temper, I take a deep breath. I will also leave the room most of the time. I know that I need to step away and calm down. Once I calm down, the issue is nearly always easily resolved. When I get angry like that, I’m not thinking clearly nor am I open to reason. If I’m not open to reason, I’m not open to discussion. If I’m not open to discussion, I’m not open to resolution. If I’m not open to resolution, the only thing left is conflict.
And that’s a really big lesson that I’ve learned. However, another lesson that’s equally as important is that when I do lose my temper and either say or do things that are out of line, I have to own up to those mistakes. Whether it’s to a coworker, one of my kids, or someone else, I have to go to them, acknowledge my error, and apologize. It’s amazing how many chasms can be filled with humility and apologies.
Conflict will always be a part of our lives. However, it doesn’t have to be a permanently dividing wedge. If we will respond appropriately, valuable lessons can be learned, and relationships can continue stronger than they were before.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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