Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:25 — 8.9MB) | Embed
Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I am excited to have purchased tickets for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story today, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I talk about the challenges of parenting.
Today’s Fun Fact: Ever wondered how much it would take to build the Death Star? The nice folks over at Twizzle sharpened up their pencils and crunched the numbers for us. Here’s what they came up with.
- It is believed that the Death Star was made from steel with estimation based upon it having a similar density to that of a modern warship such as HMS Illustrious. The Death Star would require around 1,080,000,000,000,000 (1.08 Quadrillion) tons of steel for protection.
- At todays rate of steel production, 1.3 billion tons annually, it would take 833,315 years to produce enough steel to even begin the build.
- The estimated cost of the steel needed to build the death star is $852,000,000,000,000,000 ($852 Quadrillion). That equates to around 13 x the world’s GDP.
- Sending things into space doesn’t come cheap at a cost of around $20,000 per kilogram. The cost of sending the Death Star into Space would be in the region of $21,600,000,000,000,000,000 ($21.6 Quintillion).
- The total cost to build a Death Star: $22,452,000,000,000,000,000 ($22.452 Quintillion). That does not include armament, tractor beams, communication equipment, etc.
What I Learned Yesterday
On the floor in front of us was a folding game board. Printed on the board was the layout of a mansion. Each room of the mansion was labeled with names like, Study, Kitchen, Conservatory, Billiard Room, and Lounge. Scattered around the mansion were various items with which one could commit murder. In fact, someone had been murdered. I, along with my wife Kari and our two kids, Addison and Colby, were each challenged with being the first to piece together the clues and determine where the murder was committed, which weapon was used, and who performed the diabolical act.
We each took turns rolling the die and scooting our way across the board and into the nearest room so we could begin gathering clues. Addi was the first to get to a room and put together a guess. Surprisingly, none of the rest of us could offer her a clue. Addi’s excitement immediately skyrocketed as she realized she was on the cusp of solving the mystery in record speed. She quickly made her guess final and opened up the envelope in the middle of the game board that revealed the details of the crime. Her excitement quickly fizzled out when she realized that she’d overlooked one of the cards in her own hand. Just like that, she was eliminated from the game.
Addi is very competitive, but not always the best sport whether she wins or loses. Each night I have a high-five contest with my kids. When she wins, she often has a snide comment for Colby. When she loses, she most certainly has a snide comment for him. So when she got an early exit from our family game night her sportsmanship was not good. There was no one to blame but herself, but the game was suddenly unfair.
This did not sit will with me. I get very frustrated with her poor sportsmanship and I’ve grown weary of having conversations with her about it. If I’m being totally honest, I don’t know which frustrates me more; her lack of growth in this area, or my feeling of ineptitude about not being able to teach her better.
Colby went on to win that game and we played again. I won that game. We then moved on to Pictionary where Colby and I teamed up against Addi and Kari. I found myself getting snippy with Colby as he would sometimes draw with the perspective facing him and sometimes draw with the perspective facing me. When I couldn’t figure out what he was drawing, he’d just draw and arrow toward the main part of the drawing, which didn’t help. I got frustrated with Addi about the way she was complaining during the game. Finally Kari had had enough and told me that I was the one that needed to calm down and stop complaining. She was right.
I know these are simple things that happen in every family. We have a lot of fun when we spend time together and conflict is normal. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself, but I want my kids to be strong, healthy adults. I want them to have a good work ethic, appreciate all they have, understand that we don’t always get what we want, give to others out of love and compassion, have a strong relationship with God, look at things with a positive perspective.
I know their lives will be better if they understand these things, but they’ll also make the world a better place if they keep these things as foundational components to their lives. I want what’s best for them, so when I don’t see them demonstrating these things, I get upset. Again, I’m probably more upset with myself than I am with them.
Friday afternoon we had Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws. After lunch was done and everyone had a chance to sit around and chat for a while, my mother-in-law made her way to the kitchen to clean up the dishes. Without being asked or prodded in any way, Addi stepped up to the sink and began helping. A few minutes later one of my nephews saw the fun they were having and decided to help too.
A bit later, my father-in-law asked Colby to follow him to the back bedroom. A few minutes later Colby emerged with a Disney INFINITY: Marvel Super Heroes game for the Xbox. Later as we were driving home, we asked Colby about it. He said that grandpa picked up the game and wanted to give it to Colby now instead of waiting for Christmas. Colby told us how shocked he was because the game isn’t cheap. He said that he repeatedly asked his grandpa if he was sure he wanted to give him such an expensive gift and thanked him over and over again.
Here’s What I Learned
A few months ago I had a conversation with some of the folks in our church. Most of the people in the conversation have kids that are grown and have kids of their own. The discussion was about how challenging the task of parenting is. One of the men spoke up and said that it’s all worth it when your kids reach adulthood, have kids of their own, and return to you one day to tell you that they understand why you did the things you did and thank you for what you taught them. One of the other men spoke up and said he had no idea what that was like. His kids had never told him that.
As you can imagine, it got a bit silent and awkward at that point. But I think it’s a good representation of the reality we face as parents. We do our best to teach our kids right and wrong, to love one another, to make a positive contribution to society, and work hard. We discipline them, protect them, do our best to lead them down the best path we can, and equip them to make sound decisions on their own. And if I’m honest, I hope that one day my kids thank Kari and I for the job that we’ve done. But even if they don’t thank us with words, I hope they thank us with action.
But my kids aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect. I have made and will continue to make mistakes as their father, and they will make mistakes even in situations where they’ve clearly been taught a better way. It’s what we do. As Alexander Pope said, “To err is human.” However, Alexander Pope’s quote doesn’t end there. The fuller quote is, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”
So what I’m learning is that I need to breathe and let things go. Allow myself and others to make mistakes. Give grace and forgiveness more readily. Remember that mistakes bring growth. And, perhaps most of all, take a good look at my kids and appreciate the beautiful people they have already become.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
Follow Golden Spiral Media on Twitter at GSMPodcasts and facebook.com/goldenspiralmedia. To subscribe to Stuff I Learned Yesterday visit goldenspiralmedia.com/subscribe. If you’d like to join our popular Facebook group please go to facebook.com/groups/stuffilearnedyesterday and if you’ve enjoyed this episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I would be grateful if you’d leave a review in iTunes by going to goldenspiralmedia.com/itunes.