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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I have officially decided to sell my Late 2012 27″ iMac, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I look at what I’ve learned from my older brother.
Today’s Fun Fact: According to what traditionally is known as “The First Thanksgiving,” the 1621 feast at Plymouth Colony contained waterfowl, venison, fish, lobster, clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin, and squash. William Bradford noted that, “besides waterfowl, there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many.” Many of the foods that were included in the first feast (except, notably, the seafood) have since gone on to become staples of the modern Thanksgiving dinner. Early feasts of the Order of Good Cheer, a French Canadian predecessor to the modern Thanksgiving, featured a potluck dinner with freshly-hunted fowl, game, and fish, hunted and shared by both French Canadians and local natives.
The use of the turkey in the USA for Thanksgiving precedes Lincoln’s nationalization of the holiday in 1863. Alexander Hamilton proclaimed that no “Citizen of the United States should refrain from turkey on Thanksgiving Day,” and many of the Founding Fathers (particularly Benjamin Franklin) had high regard for the wild turkey as an American icon, but turkey was uncommon as Thanksgiving fare until after 1800. By 1857, turkey had become part of the traditional dinner in New England.
What I Learned Yesterday
As I drove my 1984 Toyota Celica GT northbound on the Broadway Extension here in Oklahoma City, the sound of Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me from WBEZ Chicago filled the air. Traffic that day was flowing smoothly. The temperature inside my car was cool thanks to the still-functioning nearly 30 year old air conditioning system. The temperature outside the car was in the high 90’s. While the air temperature inside the car didn’t worry me, that outside temperature did. My car’s engine temperature was running hot. I was concerned that once I got into town and brought the car to a stop, the engine temperature would rise even more.
My concerns proved to be true. While traveling 70 miles per hour, there is a steady stream of air flowing through the radiator. When the car comes to a stop, the airflow stops too. As soon as the light turned green, I found the nearest parking lot and pulled over. There was no way I could drive the remaining 4 miles to my home. I was forced to stop and give the car a break.
In much the same way, Thanksgiving is a forced break for most of us in the United States this week. For those of you in Canada, I know you had your break already. But regardless of when Thanksgiving shows up on your calendar, the principle is the same. Whether we like it or not, a break is upon us.
Many of you know that I’m a workaholic. I’m still making progress toward working less, although not as quickly as I would like. But weeks like this one force me to pull off to the side of the road, sit a spell, and take a break. There’s a part of me that hates that. I’d love to keep my routine, check things off my list, and be productive.
But when I pull off the side of the road, pop up the hood, and take a look at the inside of me, I realize that altering my routine is good. I remember that there’s more to life than checking things off a list. I realize that there are myriad ways to define productivity.
This week we celebrate Thanksgiving. We pull off the side of the road, spend time with family and friends, eat lots of food, watch lots of football, and hopefully take a moment or two to reflect and ponder those things for which we should give thanks.
So today I want to express my appreciation and gratitude for my brother.
Nathan Lee Darnell is two years, three months, and two days older than me. He’s my oldest friend. He’s the first person I ever admired.
When I was nervous about starting school, he calmed my fears. When I needed help learning how to ride a bike, he was there to encourage me. He was my Lincoln Log buddy, my Hot Wheels companion, my Lego construction mate.
Nathan and I have always had different interests. I’ve always found more enjoyment with my face in a book or in front of a computer screen. He’s always found pleasure with sticks, balls, and competitive sports. Because I always admired his athletic ability, I tried to compete on football fields and basketball courts. Those efforts only ended with players and coaches laughing at me.
My personality is more passive and laid back. Nathan is passionate and is not afraid to speak his mind. When we were kids I thought he was stubborn and unnecessarily argumentative. Now I realize that he simply has a strong moral compass and speaks up when he perceives injustice.
When I graduated high school I made a smooth transition into college and career. Nathan did not. He went to a junior college where he could play competitive basketball. But academics where never his interest. He struggled to find roots there. He spent time in California with our mom. But he struggled to find roots there too. Finally, he decided his best option was to join the United States Army.
I supported his decision and was proud of him for making it. Our dad, uncle, and grandfather all served in the military and I was happy that he’d chosen to continue that legacy. I never had a desire to join the military and if I’m being totally honest, I was too much of a coward to sign up. If Nathan could control his passion, he would make a great soldier.
I always considered myself to be one that respected the men and women that serve in our Armed Forces, but my appreciation for them increased when Nathan enlisted. However, when Nathan was called to serve in Iraq, my respect for them skyrocketed. Nathan made it home safely, much to our delight. His coming home ceremony at Fort Sill is one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed.
Nathan’s unit was eventually called upon to serve a second tour in Iraq. The second tour was much different. While my brother made it home alive, seven of his brothers in arms did not. My brother honors those seven men by regularly visiting their graves and with the tattoos on his arms that bear their names. Because of this and more, my brother is my hero.
After his second tour in Iraq he was honorably discharged from the US Army. He now works at Tinker Air Force Base and he’s steadily working his way up the ranks. He has a good work ethic and works hard each day.
Growing up, we didn’t always see eye to eye. I mean that quite literally actually. As my older brother, he’s always been bigger than me. Even today I stand at about 6 feet tall and my brother is 6 feet 2 inches.
As all siblings do, we had our fair share of arguments and fights growing up. One time I got so mad at him I chase him around inside the house, then out onto the front lawn, then around the house, and I finally tackled him. I sat down on top of his chest and punched him in the face. It freaked me out so much I jumped of of him and ran away. I knew he could beat me up if he wanted to and I was afraid I’d just provoked his wrath. Perhaps that was because he got so mad at me one time that he punched me in the mouth so hard that my tooth pierced all the way through my lip.
Even to this day we have differing viewpoints on big things like political and religious issues, and less important things like college sports and music. But why should be agree on each of those things?
Here’s What I Learned
Yesterday I played golf with my brother. We didn’t play a traditional 18 holes, but played a target practice game at a place called Top Golf. As nearly every time in our long history that proceeded it, my brother beat me. I love to compete against him even if he does win over 90% of the time. After all, it’s every little brother’s dream to beat their big brother.
On Thursday my brother will come over to my house and we’ll share a meal. We’ll talk about sports, we’ll talk about music, and I might just remind him of the time he punched me in the mouth. Will we talk about politics and religion? I don’t know. Probably not. But even if we do, it will be civil.
Frankly, we don’t differ greatly in our political and religious views. We did vote for different candidates a few weeks ago, but that won’t come between us. We take time to allow each other to express our views. We try to understand the other’s perspective, and I think we even learn a bit from each other through our discussions. I know that his perspective on the Iraq war really helped me gain a deeper and more accurate understanding of it.
As I sat in the parking lot on that hot summer day, my car eventually cooled off and I made my way home. I got my car repaired and my regular routine continued. My forced break was over. Soon enough, this week will pass and, even if it is for a few short weeks, routine will return. Let’s not rush back into that.
For me, I’m going to appreciate this forced break. I’m going to appreciate the time I have with my brother and my other family members. Will some of the conversations be boring? Yes. Will some of the conversations be frustrating? Yes. Will some of the conversations make me want to pull my hair out? Definitely. But that’s okay. I will try my best to appreciate the time I have with my loved ones, learn from their perspective, and enjoy the break.
We live in a great nation with a wonderful diversity of people. While the people we sit across from on Thursday and break bread with may at times be at odds with us, the truth is that we all have much more in common than we have in differences. Each of us in this country represents a small piece of fabric that is sewn into this beautiful patchwork quilt of a nation. People like my brother and the seven soldiers who died while serving along side him have paid a hefty price to give us the freedom to take this break. At time it seems like this patchwork quilt is ready to rip apart at the seams. But if we will each do our part to tighten up the seams that we touch, then breaks like these can go a long way to making our quilt bigger and stronger than ever.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
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