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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Barb Rankin, I enjoy taking on many do-it-yourself projects, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I share what I learned about recognizing my limitations and asking for help.
Today’s Fun Fact:
Did you know that for the past 10 years, homeowners have been increasingly interested in expanding their home’s living space to the outdoors! One of the ways to do that is by adding a patio. A patio is level with the ground, and a deck is raised above the ground. Did you know that the 5 most common materials used in constructing patios are stone, concrete pavers, poured concrete, tile, and brick. Wood decks often cost less than patios, because less labor is required for ground preparation. Both decks and patios can add 10% or more to the perceived value of your home. So – not only can you enjoy the great outdoors with your deck or patio, but it can also increase the value of your home. How many of you have added a deck or patio to your home and done much of the work yourself? Quite a few, I’ll bet.
What I Learned Yesterday:
I live in Phoenix, Arizona where we have 8 months of great weather, and I like being outdoors. (I’m not trying to rub that in for those of you still getting over winter – well – maybe not!). I’m fortunate to have a pool in my backyard, and I also enjoying sitting outside reading and spending time growing fruits, vegetables and herbs. So having lots of useable space is important to me.
Every year, I create my list of home projects – and many of the projects involve the backyard. I have a lot of crushed rock rather than grass (as do my neighbors), since grass tends to burn up in the summer out here, it requires a lot of water, and it’s not desert friendly. I decided that I wanted to create more living space in the back, by adding a flagstone patio. So I began my research on what I believed would be a relatively easy to do-it-yourself project.
I knew I needed to determine where the patio would be, it’s size, and the amount of flagstone and sand I would need. I’d need to move the dirt and rock from the planned patio area somewhere else in the yard. I’d need the correct tools to do the work. I watched videos on line, read do-it-yourself articles, and consulted with a friend who had constructed her own flagstone patio. I was ready.
I began moving the crushed rock and dirt to other parts of the yard, and when I completed about 60% of the excavation, I ordered the flagstone and sand from my home improvement store. It arrived early on a Saturday morning, and I immediately began moving the flagstone and sand from the front driveway to the back of the house. I had my gloves, safety glasses and wheelbarrow and was able to move a number of flagstones at a time, but it still took most of the day. I had ordered 2 and ½ pallets of flagstone and a half pallet of sand. Whew – I was tired by the end of the day, but the flagstone and sand was moved, and staged on the back porch ready to go as soon as I finished excavating the future patio area.
When the homebuilder for my neighborhood began preparing the land more than 20 years ago, there were apparently a number of rocks in the ground. And I don’t mean little rocks – I mean boulders – the kind that are too heavy to move or roll, or do anything else with unless you have a bulldozer. Since my home was one of the former model houses, the landscaper incorporated the rocks into the outdoor design, and they look great. But apparently he didn’t use all of them as part of the landscaping, nor did he haul them away.
You guessed it. As I was digging, I hit rock. So I dug around it. And it was big – and deep. I felt like I was the Titanic and I had just hit the tip of the iceberg. My spirits sank faster than that ship. It wasn’t at the side of the planned patio area where I could ignore it – it was two feet in, and I was going to have to find a way to deal with it.
I pulled out the pick ax. Nope – that didn’t work. I grabbed a chisel and a hammer. Nope – broke off a few small pieces – very small. I talked to a friend who came over to look at the problem rock. “Jackhammer,” he suggested. I went to the hardware store. The jackhammer weighted 60 pounds. I can lift a 42 pound bag of cat litter, but I finally admitted to myself that I was not going to be able to lift, much less manage to operate a 60 pound jackhammer.
It’s not always easy to recognize our limitations until we go beyond them. Admitting limitations is not about weakness or defeat – it’s part of the growing up process. Babies don’t acknowledge limitations – they crawl, they stand and they walk. This is good because they are still developing and growing. Many teenagers don’t understand they have limitations and often believe they are invincible, leading to poor decisions. As we age and mature, we understand that each of us possesses unique gifts and skill sets, but we can’t do everything. We need our family, friends, and co-workers to complement us, to balance us, to help us. If I don’t ask for help, how will I enable anyone else to feel comfortable asking for help from me?
The day before I realized I had a problem of boulder proportions, I received a flyer in the mail, from an individual who had worked on a project at my home. He had established a new business, and was now creating more backyard living spaces, including patios.
I picked up the phone, called him, and he got the jackhammer, got rid of the boulder, and finished the project for me. I felt good about what I had done – cleared most of the area, moved all the flagstone and sand, and I knew I needed help. And I have enjoyed the new patio immensely.
Here’s what I learned.
So many of us have strong independent personalities and we struggle with asking others for assistance, whether it is asking for directions or for care giving assistance. I don’t like to ask for help, but recognizing that about myself forces me to carefully examine situations in which I struggle. It helps me realize when I need the help of others and how I need them to help me. It humbles me by reminding me that I can’t do everything, and gives me a chance to express gratitude to those who have lent me their helping hands. It’s better than okay to ask for help.
I’m Barb Rankin and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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