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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday.  My name is Darrell Darnell, when I was a kid I played the instrument every kid dreams of, the baritone, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.  In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I’ll share my perspective on the power of perspective.

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What I Learned Yesterday:
When I was in seventh grade one of my teachers thought it would be good to teach our class a lesson on perspective.  She gave each of us a glass and had us fill it up half way with water.  She then asked us to carefully study the glass of water.  After we had time to study the glass of water she asked us a simple question.  She wanted us to tell her if the glass was half full or half empty.  She asked us to write our answer down on a piece of paper.

To me, this question was not as simple as she wanted it to be.  No, I wasn’t one of those people who claimed that it was 100% full because what space was not filled with water was actually full of air.  My problem was that I recognized that the cup was simultaneously half full AND half empty.  The answer I wrote down was “both.”  The teacher asked those who answered “half full” to raise their hands.  She then asked those who answered “half empty” to raise their hands.  She noticed that another girl and I did not raise our hands either time and asked us what answer we had given.  It turned out that she had also written down, “both.”

While the answer we provided did not fit into the selection of choices that the teacher wanted, it was technically true.  I wish I could say that the lesson the teacher gave us that day changed my life and opened my eyes to a powerful life lesson, but it didn’t.  The only reason I remember the lesson is that I felt out of place by being only one of two people to come up with an odd answer.

However, at some point down the road her lesson did click with me and I think it’s a really important lesson for each one of us.  Technically speaking, I’m a glass half full guy.  Life comes full of speed bumps and setbacks.  Some speed bumps and setbacks are harder than others to overcome, there is no doubt about that.  I know what it’s like to lose a job, to get overlooked for a promotion, to miss out on an opportunity, and be hit with other types of setbacks.  When those times come I have developed a method that helps me get over the hump of disappointment.

I do allow myself some time to feel the sting of disappointment.  I want to experience that feeling.  I want to know what it feels like, but I don’t want to remain there.  I think the time spent in a state of disappointment depends on the circumstance, but it’s important to not allow yourself to spend an unhealthy amount of time there.  It should never turn into self pity, whining, or depression.  

Once I’ve allowed myself to feel the pain, it’s time to move on.  I believe every speed bump in life is an opportunity to learn and improve our perspective.  I first spend some time looking for positive aspects of the situation. I try to list at least three positives, preferably five.  Next I look for things that I can learn from the situation.  Is there something I could have done to better prepare?  Is there a skill or qualification that I’m lacking?  Is there something that I could communicate better?  

Here’s a fairly insignificant, but recent example.  San Diego Comic Con tickets are very hard to get.  I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to get exactly the tickets that I’ve wanted the last 3 years.  This year the ticketing system was completely overhauled.  A special sale was held for only the people who attended last year and when it was over, I had missed out on getting 3 of the 5 tickets that I wanted.  I was very disappointed.

Using the system I described above, I came up with five positives from the situation.  Here they are:
1. Press room interviews are held in a different venue.  Missing out on the tickets would not lessen my potential for participating in press events.
2. There are many free things that happen outside of the convention center every year.  I’ve always been too busy inside the conference to enjoy them.  Now I would have an opportunity to experience them.
3. Nerd HQ will be taking place right across the street.  I could look into getting tickets for that event.
4. I’d finally have time to go see some of the great things that San Diego offers.  I’ve never had time to do that during my previous trips.
5. I saved money!

I also took some time to see what I could learn from the situation.  Here’s that list:
1. I only tried getting tickets using my member ID.  If I would have used my co-hosts ID on another computer, I would have doubled my chances.
2. I could have coordinated efforts with other friends and tried to get badges with them.  Likewise, I could have helped them get badges for days they wanted.

Fortunately, that was not my only chance to get tickets.  When tickets went on sale for the general public a few weeks later, I used the experience and the things I’d learned to my advantage.  I was able to successfully acquire all of the remaining tickets I needed.  Of course, if you’ve listened to episode 18 of Stuff I Learned Yesterday, you know that I had to eventually cancel my trip to San Diego Comic Con for this year, but I still looked for ways to learn from the whole experience.

Here’s what I learned.  Dwelling on the negative things in life does nothing but hurt us. I spent part of my day yesterday with someone who is a glass half empty person.  The last few years have been very challenging for her and I do not want to make it seem as though she’s had an easy road.  But in each situation she has been in, she has chosen to reflect and dwell more on the negatives of her situation instead of focusing on all the things she has to be grateful for.

As I spoke with her today, I tried to encourage her to change the way she looks at things.  I pointed out that she has really only hurt herself and she has prevented herself from being happy.  

I don’t know if her perspective will change after our conversation today but I hope it does.  It won’t be easy for her.  She’s set in her ways and it would mean an adopting an entirely new way of thinking.

Maybe you’re like that too.  I won’t be flippant and act as if it will be easy, but I do want to encourage you to put on a new perspective.  The next time you find yourself hitting a speed bump, don’t dwell on it.  Instead, take time to list out some positive things and be grateful for those things.  Think about what you can learn from the situation and grow from those lessons.  Now that speed bump has just been used to lift you up.

I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.

If you’ve enjoyed this episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday, I would be grateful if you’d leave a review in iTunes or Stitcher.

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