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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I’m one of those people who’s parents took him to Disneyland but I was too young to remember a single thing about it, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I’ll share how I recently re-learned the importance of combining words with action.
Friday Forum:
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What I Learned Yesterday:
Today I have not one story to share with you, but two. On the surface, these two stories seem completely unrelated. Honestly, I suppose they are completely unrelated. The first story took place nearly 30 years ago. The second story took place 2 weeks ago. As I thought about what I learned from the recent story, it reminded me of the older story. I think they share a common thread, so I’m including both of them in today’s episode.
The first story took place when I was probably 8 to 10 years old. My brother and I always spent a lot of time with my grandparents, that is, my dad’s mom and stepdad. My mom’s parents lived in California, and I only remember meeting them one time. There were a couple of other times I met them, but just like my Disneyland experience, I was too young to remember. My step grandpa was the only grandpa I ever knew, and never considered him anything other than my real blood related grandpa. Because they lived here in Oklahoma, they’ve always been a close and important part of my life.
Like most grandkids, we had a lot of meals cooked by grandma. We spent a lot of nights over there, and a lot of family gatherings were centered at my grandparents home. My dad also had a sister that lived in Kansas and they’d come down to visit us a couple of times per year. My cousins, Mandy and Garth, were both older than either myself or my brother. Mandy is 8 years older than me and Garth is 6 years older than me.
It was always a treat to have them visit and I know that my grandparents greatly enjoyed seeing and spending time with grandkids that they didn’t get to see very often. When Mandy and Garth would come to visit, my grandparents would always take them out for something fun.
My brother and I were talking one day and one of us mentioned that it seemed unfair that grandma and grandpa would always do fun stuff with them, but never did anything special with us. We both agreed that the only logical explanation for this was that grandma and grandpa must love Mandy and Garth more than they love us.
One day when we were over visiting our grandparents we asked them why they loved Mandy and Garth more than us. They both thought it was a ridiculous question. They insisted that they didn’t love Mandy and Garth more than us and wondered why we would even ask such a question. We told them that we’d noticed that they always took Many and Garth out to do fun things, but never took us out to do fun things. When we came over we just did things like watch movies, play in the yard, walk around the block, or go with grandpa to buy cigars.
They explained that they don’t get to see Mandy and Garth very often and like to make the most of the time they have together, but apologized for not doing more things like that with us. They asked us what we’d like to do. We told them that they could take us to the zoo, to the cowboy hall of fame, or to the science museum.
It didn’t take long for them to take action. One of our visits shortly after that conversation was a busy one! A visit to any one of those places is enough for one day, but they decide to prove their love for us by taking us to all three places in one day! We had a blast and came home exhausted!
Looking back on it now I have nothing but good memories of it. As far as I can recall, that is still the only time I’ve been to the cowboy hall of fame, now called the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum. It’s a really cool place and you should check it out if you’re ever in Oklahoma City. My grandpa died 4 years ago and I cherish every memory I have of him.
My grandparents never made me feel unloved. Even though we felt like they might have loved Mandy and Garth more than us, we never doubted that they loved us. I think that we took for granted the small everyday things we did together and the simple moments of life that made up our relationship. I think my grandparents took for granted that we were just a short drive away and we were likely going to come over every couple of weeks.
My second story is one about me and my wife, Kari. We’ll be married 15 years this May. We tell each other all the time that we love each other. Maybe we say it too much. Is that possible? I spoke with her about it as I prepared to record this episode, and we both admitted that we say it so much, that we often don’t really think much of it when the other person says it. Interesting.
What I don’t say enough to her is how much I appreciate her. How beautiful I think she is. How good of a mother I think she is. How much I enjoy her laugh. How I love her sense of humor. How she lets me be a total dork…and she’s a total dork around me. I could go on. She really is the perfect match for me.
About two weeks ago we were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and I looked over at Kari and notice how beautiful she is. I don’t notice that enough. I leaned over to her and whispered, “I think you’re pretty.” She smiled and giggled like a little school girl. I often work until midnight or 1 am so she usually heads off to bed before I do. That night when I went to wash my face before heading off to bed there was something extra next to my bathroom sink. Kari had found a scrap piece of paper and written me a note. It said, “I love you, Darrell. I hope you sleep well. 🙂 Nighty night. Love, Kari”
It had been a long time since she’d left me a love note. Was it a coincidence that she left me that note on the same night I told her she was pretty? I don’t think so.
Here’s what these two stories have in common, and here’s what I learned. We all take those closest to us for granted. It’s easy to do it. We assume that they’ll always be there, doing what they do, being a part of our lives. Sometimes we need to take the grandkids out and do something special. Sometimes we need look at our spouse and whisper something sweet to them. It only takes a moment to let those special people in your life feel special. It’s not hard, it’s not expensive, and it’s not a waste of time. In fact, it’s an investment that will give you a return that is worth far more than anything money can buy.
I’m Darrell Darnell and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.
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