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I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There’s no way it could be real. I knew this stuff was heavily guarded and those who knew of it were sworn to secrecy. I pondered for a moment, hesitated. Then, convinced there’s no way it could be legit, I clicked on it. What happened next changed everything.
Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. This is episode 675, “Missing the Good Times.” I’m Darrell Darnell. I once had a random person in Vancouver, Canada mail me a script from Fringe that they found in an alleyway, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.
My wife and I have never really been big TV watchers. Some of you have heard me say that before, and some of you may be surprised to hear that coming from a guy who has ran a podcast network largely focused on reviewing TV shows for the last 17 years. We typically have the TV on as background noise while my wife reads or crossstitches and I play Zelda.
But every once in a while a show will come around that captures our attention. The first example of this was a show that premiered on September 23, 2004. We saw commercials about it leading up to the show’s premiere, and we both thought it looked so interesting, we made sure we were tuned in and on the couch for the first episode. And it did not disappoint!
Of course, that show was called LOST, and it literally changed our lives. I don’t think I would be podcasting today nor would I run a podcast production agency if I hadn’t tuned in to watch LOST. While both Kari and I immediately loved the show and insisted on watching every episode live, I must admit I was a bit more enamored with it than she was.
I found myself visiting message boards and forums to talk about the show with other fans. There were several people at my job that were fans and I loved talking about the show with them. It was chatting with fans on message boards where I first heard about podcasting. They told me about podcasts that were dedicated to talking about the show, and I had to learn more.
I quickly became a fan of The Transmission, The Weekly LOST Podcast, The LOST Podcast with Jay and Jack, and of course, The Official LOST Podcast. The Official Lost Podcast was hosted by the show’s executive producers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. They vaguely teased future episodes and answered listener questions. I loved being able to hear and communicate directly with the creative leaders of the show.
Like many shows, each season of LOST ended with a massive cliff hanger. Damon and Carlton had given a nickname to those cliff hangers and shared them with the podcast audience. Season one was called, “The Bagel” and season two was named, “The Challah.” Not very exciting or interesting if you ask me.
But that changed in season three. As the end of the season approached, they revealed their code name for the season finale: “The Rattlesnake in the Mailbox.” Now, that’s an exciting name! They said it was an ending so unexpected, so shocking, it would be akin to finding a rattlesnake in your mailbox.
The ending was closely guarded. Protected. Teased, but not revealed.
So when I was perusing one of my favorite message boards and found someone claiming to have the entire script for the season three finale, I stopped in my tracks. Was it true? No. It couldn’t be. It’s impossible. But what if it is? Would I rather know the ending now, or wait? But that’s the thing. This is such a big secret, it can’t be real. It’s a troll. It’s totally fan fiction.
After convincing myself it couldn’t be real, I clicked on it. I began reading and what I read was good. Very good. If this was fan fiction, they’d done a great job. I kept reading. As the story progressed I became more and more riveted in what was unfolding. Finally, I reached the end. It was shocking! It was incredible! It was incredible, right? That is, it wasn’t credible, right?
Days later the finale aired and we tuned in live to watch it. By the first commercial break, I knew. Line by line, shot by shot, scene by scene, it ALL matched perfectly to what I’d read. As the episode progressed, it was the same. I was devastated. The episode arrived at its conclusion and I already knew what would happen. The rattlesnake in the mailbox was revealed, and while I enjoyed it and seeing my wife’s reaction, I’d ruined the experience for myself. I was sick.
Here’s what I learned.
One of those shows that’s often in the background at our house is The Office. We never watched The Office when it originally aired, but we’ve watched it through a few times since. My wife’s least favorite character in the entire show is Todd Packer. She can’t stand him and, if you’ve seen the show, it’s easy to see why. As for me, Todd isn’t in enough episodes for him to make my least-favorite characters list, so that award goes to Andy Bernard. But Andy isn’t all bad. In fact, there are some moments of his that I very much like, and one of those moments inspired this episode.
The moment I’m talking about should come as no surprise to those of you who know The Office. The show ran for 9 seasons and contains 188 episodes, but it’s the very last episode as everyone is reflecting on their time at Dunder Mifflin, the work they did, moments they shared, and relationships they’d formed. The time had come where several had moved on, including Andy, and several others were about to. Things would never be the same.
In that moment, Andy says, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
What a great quote. It’s simple, pithy, and profound.
I think the quote is so powerful in part because it’s something that nearly everyone can relate to. Even the youngest among us who’ve experienced some sort of change can look back on what life was like before the change and gain an appreciation for what was. As they reflect, it’s common to feel a sense of loss, sadness, nostalgia, longing, and even regret.
We’ve all been there, Andy.
Two months from now I’ll turn half a hundred. If I’m lucky, I’m middle aged. Statistically, I hit middle age at age 39. The older I get the more reflective I get. I don’t mean the kind of reflection that comes from light bouncing off my scalp where hair used to be. I mean the type of reflection that comes from introspection.
Like Andy, I can look back at several moments in my life where I was completely unaware that I was in the midst of good days. Those moments of reflection leave me feeling just as I described earlier: sad, nostalgic, and even regret.
The regret I felt after watching the season 3 finale of LOST is something I still feel today. As I’ve reflected on it I’ve realized it connects to Andy’s quote in a powerful way. I regret that I robbed myself of the best experience.
Like Andy, we look back at moments in life and we feel regret. We realized we missed something. Oftentimes we realize that we missed recognizing the great things that were around us. Why? Because we were focused on the wrong thing.
We are thinking ahead about tomorrow’s meeting. Planning for retirement. Dreaming about what we want our future to look like. Imagining how we can improve life in some way and envisioning what that will look like.
Meanwhile life is happening all around us and we’re missing it. When I’m honest with myself, I wanted that leaked script to be true. I wanted to get ahead. I wanted to be one of the few that knew what was happening before everyone else. I wanted tomorrow, today.
When we focus on tomorrow instead of today, we miss today. Eventually we find ourselves looking around realizing that tomorrow is always a day away and we’ve missed all of the todays that were filled with the moments that mattered most.
Is there a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them? Yes. As the great philosopher Garth Algar once said, “Live in the now.” Focus on each day. Be in the moment. Sure, we should plan, dream, think ahead, and imagine. But never lose sight of today.
Every single day; good days, bad days, and all of those in between are a gift. Those bad days are often the best ones when we look back on them. Those good ones are wonderful and often help carry us through the bad ones. And those mundane ones are where the unexpected memories are made.
Regret leads us to that desperate, broken place wishing we could go back. Unfortunately, there is no going back, however, today is still before us, it is a gift, it is the present. It is ours to take hold of, appreciate, and make the most of. If we do that well, we’ll look back on this day with joy and be grateful for the memories and moments it gave us.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
I want you to be a part of the next Monday Mailbag coming up in 3 weeks on December 29th! The submission deadline is Tuesday, December 23rd. Monday Mailbag is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU. It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long. It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others. You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can participate in Monday Mailbags by visiting the Golden Spiral Media listener feedback page.