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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, a nun’s outfit is called a habit, which derives its name from the latin word “habitus” which means appearance. And I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.
If you were to visit my office and take a look at my bookshelf, you’d find a variety of books, several of them about habits and mindset. Some of my favorites are Psycho-Cybernetics, Think and Grow Rich, Atomic Habits, and Tiny Habits.
We all have habits, both good and bad. Our mindset is often what helps us develop good habits and overcome bad ones. But if you’re anything like me, life is an ongoing battle to identify bad habits and replace them with good ones. Similar to that is the battle to persevere and not become lazy or relaxed with good habits, causing them to drift into something less than what we aspired for.
And to be honest, this is a battle I often suck at. Way more often than I want, I find myself sliding and getting lazy with habits. Like many things in life, it’s hard to make progress while very easy to regress and destroy days, weeks, or months of hard work.
I’ve learned a few things over the years as I’ve struggled with this and read books, so today I’ll share a story that I hope will help all of us develop those healthy habits we strive for.
I’ve said a few times on this podcast that I have been reading the Bible pretty much daily since I was 14 or 15. When I started, my routine was to do it just before bed. However, that was a struggle for me because I often fell asleep while reading and was so tired I wasn’t even comprehending what I read.
Once I realized this, I switched to reading the Bible each morning. I still struggled with doing it as consistently and as often as I wanted, but pushed myself to always make time for it. Eventually my morning routine changed so that I had a longer commute. This meant I had to get up earlier and leave the house earlier. It made taking time to read the Bible each day even more challenging.
My solution? Leverage the commute time. I purchased the Bible on CD and listened to the Bible each day while I was driving. I also purchased audio CDs that were designed to help me memorize Bible passages and I found each of these to be very helpful.
Eventually a new form of audio consumption was created called podcasting. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Once I discovered podcasts in 2006, I quickly started looking for all sorts of podcasts to consume. Naturally, one of the first podcasts I sought out was one that had daily Bible reading. What I found was the Daily Audio Bible hosted by Brian Hardin.
Once I found that podcast, maintaining the commitment of daily Bible reading became much easier. Once I left my corporate world and started working from home, my routine changed again. I loved the Daily Audio Bible podcast, so I sought out ways to keep my morning routine centered around starting with listening to it.
For a little while I listened to the podcast while exercising. I wasn’t really committed to exercising, so that was short lived. I needed something else. I soon realized that what worked great for me was to start my day with coffee and Brian’s podcast. Once I had the coffee in hand, I’d sit down at my desk, fire up iTunes on my computer and listen.
In total, I listened to Brian’s podcast daily for around 15 years. At some point during those years I realized I needed a change. Because I was sitting at my computer listening, and I can do other things while I listen, I often found myself distracted with other things while I was listening. This meant that I wasn’t really retaining the words I was hearing.
My solution was to switch to using my phone instead of my computer. I’d start the podcast and turn my phone screen off while I listened. This was certainly an improvement. But eventually I realized I still wasn’t retaining it like I should. So I made another change. Knowing that our brains retain info better when we engage in multi-sensory learning, I began to read a physical copy of the Bible while listening to Brian read it.
I found this to be a very good solution and this was my daily routine for the last several years of listening to his podcast. But eventually, I came to that all too familiar place where I felt like it still wasn’t enough. Specifically, I was just reading the words day after day, but not pausing to study to better understand what I was reading.
So I made another change. I turned off the podcast. Now, I grab that cup of coffee, sit down at my desk, open up a physical copy of the Bible and I read. I don’t have a set amount of verses or chapters. I don’t even have a set amount of time. I just read and explore. I think, read books from Bible scholars, make notes of my own, and go at my own pace.
Here’s what I learned.
Remember earlier when I said that I have been reading the Bible pretty much daily since I was 14 or 15? I typically include the words “pretty much” in that description because I know there have been a few large spans of time where that was not the case. One of those times was just a couple of years ago.
I was struggling trying to figure out if I should continue with the audio Bible or switch to something else. I’d already made a switch to listen to a different version of the Daily Audio Bible which sorts the Bible into chronological order, but I didn’t end up liking that at all. Once it was done, I took a week off to figure out what to do next. That week off led to a month off and before I knew it, I’d not read the Bible for over 3 months.
Knowing I needed to just make a decision and get back on track, it was then that I decided to step away from the podcast and go back to simply reading a physical Bible each day.
Now before I move on, let me clarify something that I learned from my friend Cliff Ravenscraft. For those of you who know Cliff, you may have heard him say something to the effect that he has vowed to exercise everyday for the rest of his life and he has stuck by that commitment. He and I were talking about this one day and he verbalized something that I’d felt was true, but had never heard anyone else talk about before. That is, what does “daily” mean?
For some, it may mean that if you ever, even once, don’t do that thing you committed to doing, then you’ve broken your vow and you have to start over from day one. But I don’t believe that to be true and neither does Cliff. If Cliff is so sick that he can’t exercise, does that mean he’s broken his vow and has to start over from day one? No, of course not.
So where’s the boundary? How much can you miss and still say you do that thing daily?
For him, it came down to the heart. When he is sick or if something prevents him from exercising no matter how hard he has tried, those things have not altered his heart, his deep commitment to his vow. However, his deep commitment to his vow means he will do everything he possibly can to keep his vow, and when he can’t, he is right back at it the next day.
Simply put, he feels it’s perfectly acceptable to say he exercises daily so long as he very rarely misses, only misses due to legitimate reasons, and gets right back to the commitment at the earliest possible chance– no excuses. I agree with him on this.
I’d also say that I often don’t read the Bible on Saturdays. I have a daily routine that fits into my Monday-Friday work week, and I have a separate routine for Sundays. Because I often skip Saturdays, I don’t feel like this contradicts the spirit of what is meant when someone says they do something daily.
I mention these nuances because I think sometimes we fail to allow grace in our own lives. Once we miss or fail for any reason, we allow those feelings of failure to defeat us causing us to miss more often or quit altogether. It’s important to understand you will miss the mark sometimes. It’s equally important to think about that up front so that you have an understanding and a plan for how to respond and get right back to keeping up the good habit you’re trying to maintain.
My favorite book on habits is one that I mentioned earlier, “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. One of the tips that BJ shares in his book is connecting or anchoring a desired behavior with an existing positive habit.
What is the habit that you want to form? Now make a list of things you do everyday without fail. It could be something simple like brushing your teeth, it could be your daily commute, it could be changing into your pajamas or taking medication. Now choose one of those to anchor your new habit to. That means, when you do that thing you’re already doing, also do the new thing you want to do.
I illustrated this earlier. Did you catch it? I did it totally by accident as it was years before I’d ever read BJ’s book, but now it serves as a reminder to me that the principle in BJ’s book is sound. For me, once I anchored reading the Bible to drinking coffee, my desired habit was locked in.
I’d also like to point out all the different variations I’ve gone through over the years to keep my desired habit fresh and ensure that it didn’t stop when my routine changed. My daily commute was once my anchor point before coffee replaced it. I’ve tried a mixture of audio and physical versions of the Bible and they’ve all been effective at different stages of my life.
Keep trying new things and different anchor points until you get the consistency and results you’re aiming for. Once you get that locked in, you’ll find that developing winning habits is much easier than you ever thought possible.
Lastly, perhaps you’ve become discouraged and disheartened by failing to keep a habit. That’s okay. We’ve all been there. But don’t the setbacks of your past limit your future outcomes. While yesterday was the best day to start a new habit, today is the second best day. The future you dream about is out there, and you have the ability to make today the first step toward that destination.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
I want you to be a part of the next Monday Mailbag next week, September 29th! The submission deadline is this Wednesday, September 24th. ! Monday Mailbag is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU. It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long. It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others. You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can participate in Monday Mailbags by visiting the Golden Spiral Media listener feedback page.