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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell. The first bricks were created around 7000 BC and were made of mud and dried naturally by the sun. Around 3500 BC, fired bricks were invented, which allowed for more durable and weather-resistant construction. And I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.
Kari and I married in the spring of 1999 and in the fall of 2002 we welcomed our first child, Addison. Two years later we welcomed our second bundle of joy, Colby. It seems like yesterday that they each entered our lives, yet they are now both adults.
Like most parents, we dreamed of who they would become and did our best to give them all they would need in every aspect of development to best equip them for the world. We assumed both of them would want to one day go to college, and we wanted to do our best to make that happen.
Education was always an important component for us, which is the primary reason we made our home in the school district they eventually graduated from. Once they graduated, we wanted to make the transition to college as smooth as possible, so we began thinking about college savings before they were ever born.
Shortly after Addison was born we knew we needed to start a college savings plan for her. As new parents, our information had been sold to various companies who offer a variety of services in that market, so we began getting bombarded with all sorts of mail.
One of those pieces of mail came from a brand we recognized and trusted: Gerber. We knew Gerber for their baby food and other baby products, so when they sent us info about a life insurance policy that doubled as a college savings plan, we were intrigued.
We read through the paperwork and met with a company representative about the product. It seemed great. For a nominal monthly payment, our new human would be covered with a life insurance policy should the unthinkable happen. Then, when the human turned 18, the policy could be cashed in and used to pay for college, a wedding, or whatever they wanted. Alternatively they could keep the policy active until they were a few years older and it would mature to an even higher value that they could then cash out.
After careful thought and consideration, we signed up. When Colby was born, we signed him up too. Satisfied that we had that box checked, we went on with life and made payments for the next 18 years.
At the same time, we encouraged each of our kids to do their absolute best in school. We not only understood the benefits that came along with pushing yourself to be your best, but we knew we had been gifted with a couple of intelligent kids who had the ability to do whatever they set their minds to.
Addi ended up not choosing the path of college, but Colby set his eyes on higher education from a pretty young age. He stayed focused on his schoolwork and graduated with more honors than I ever dreamed. He had a GPA above a 4.0, scored a 34 on the ACT, and became one of the valedictorians of his class.
As I’ve mentioned before, we were certain that he would be offered a full ride scholarship. However, that didn’t happen. He was offered a full tuition scholarship, but that didn’t cover fees, room, or board. College had become more than twice as expensive as it had been when I was his age. Not only that, utilizing fees had become a way for universities to make their overall prices seem lower than they actually were.
Colleges might say that they hadn’t raised tuition in 5 years, but that didn’t mean fees hadn’t gone up. All that to say, the fees alone were more expensive than the tuition. While we were extremely grateful for the full tuition scholarship, there was a lot of expense that remained uncovered.
No worries. We had thought of that years before and had our Gerber policy waiting in the wings. We contacted them about next steps to cash out the policy once our son turned 18. What we learned was shocking. The amount of money that we thought the policy would pay out was only a small fraction of reality.
To put it bluntly, unless he died, the only money we would be getting was equivalent to the exact amount we’d put into it. That’s right, we wouldn’t even get interest. We’d been scammed. We were no better off than if we’d been simply putting the money under a mattress for the last 18 years! Instead of having tens of thousands of dollars, we had less than five thousand. That wouldn’t even come close to covering the fees for one semester of college, let alone four years of fees, housing, and food.
Here’s what I learned.
Needless to say, we were shocked. We were embarrassed. We felt like fools. We thought we’d done what we needed to be prepared for this situation, and it turned out nearly any other decision would have been better.
You know what, we weren’t alone. Eventually we found out that so many people had been duped by this “college savings plan” that there had been multiple class actions lawsuits filed against Gerber. We couldn’t find any that we qualified for so those lawsuits didn’t help us in any financial way, but they did at least help us feel somewhat better about being fooled. Misery loves company, I guess.
The late great Dan Miller is famous for saying, “What does this make possible?” When hard times come, our carefully built plans come crashing down, or unexpected challenges blind side us, our attitude in those moments is everything. Asking, “What does this make possible?” is a great way to reframe the situation and help position us to move forward in the right way.
So that’s what we did. Staying angry wasn’t going to help. We needed to take action.
We stepped up our pursuit of outside scholarships and looked at ways we could cut spending so that we could pay for the remainder of his college expenses. We did some simple calculations to see how much we’d need to save each month in order to have the money necessary to start each semester.
We also let Colby know this was not his fault and he should feel no pressure on him. This was our mistake and we were still going to find a way to pay for his education. His focus was to be on his classes and assignments.
Colby discovered he’s good at writing. He wrote an essay for a scholarship available by a local chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution and won the grand prize. He also won the grand prize for a scholarship offered by the university’s English department for a series of papers he wrote his freshman year.
My wife, the incredible woman that she is, manages our finances and she’s found a way each month to save the money we’ve needed. Recently it’s been very challenging, but God has always helped provide even when it seemed impossible.
Colby is starting his fourth year of college this month and we’ve found a way to pay for it all so far. He did end up changing his major which resulted in him needing to add an additional year of studies. His tuition scholarship will not cover that fifth year, so covering the expenses for that year is still a bit shaky.
He’s continuing to explore other scholarships and we’re continuing to save as much as possible. One way or another, I know we’ll make it work and God will continue to provide.
And that’s the lesson for today. Even when we think we’re planning carefully, life will hit us upside the head with a brick from time to time. It’s never fun or easy to be on the receiving end of a brick. But those bricks don’t have to end us or stop our momentum. They don’t have to squash our dreams or the dreams we have for our loved ones.
Get creative, stay positive, seek and trust God, ask what is now possible because of the brick, and realize those bricks can be used to help pave the way to the future you dreamed of.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
I want you to be a part of the next Monday Mailbag on September 29th! Monday Mailbag is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU. It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long. It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others. You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can participate in Monday Mailbags by visiting the Golden Spiral Media listener feedback page.