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Comfortable In My Own Skin

Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Mark Des Cotes, I finally bought myself a small Doctor Who TARDIS for my shelf, and I believe if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living. In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday I talk about my observations at Ottawa Comiccon.

Happy Wednesday to you. I hope the first half of your week has gone well so far. A lot has happened since we last talked. I’ve mowed my lawn for the first time this year. I took my son to see the new Avengers movie. I spent Friday and Saturday at Ottawa Comiccon, we moved Joelle into Ryan’s room and of course I spent Mother’s day with my lovely wife. Well, that’s pretty well it.

Today’s Fun Fact of the Day: Did you know that all this week, right up until next Tuesday the dates form palindromes? Palindromes are when a word, phrase, number or any other sequence of characters read the same backward or forward. Examples are the words kayak or madam or the phrase “Was it a car or a cat I saw?”. If you look at the dates this week numerically such as today’s being 5-13-15 it reads the same forwards or backwards. The same goes for every date from May 10 to 19th. Cool don’t you think?

Here’s What I leaned yesterday.
You’ve been listening to me for several months now, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise when I say I’m a hockey fan. And just to be clear, that’s ice hockey, the one played on skates. If you’ve paid close attention you will also know that I’m a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs, one of the original 6 teams that formed the National Hockey League, or NHL. The Leafs will celebrate their 100 year anniversary in 2017. Since their inception, They’ve won the Stanley Cup, the oldest championship trophy of any major sport in North America, more times than any other team in the league save for the Montreal Canadians. Now with that history behind them you would think them a force to be reckoned with. Sadly, that’s not the case. The Leafs have not won the Stanley Cup since 1967, two years before I was born. I’m 45 years old to put that in perspective. Now don’t worry, this isn’t an episode about hockey so trust me, I do have a point I’m getting to so let me finish this off.

I’ve been a Toronto Maple Leafs fan for as long as I can remember but I have no recollection as to how I became a Leafs fan. My grandfather, having grown up in Montreal was a huge Montreal Canadians fan. My Dad, who also grew up in Montreal rooted for some reason for the Chicago Blackhawks. My dad tells me I always rooted for the Leafs no matter how much he tried to persuade me otherwise, but as to why, I guess will remain a mystery.

Now let me be honest, even though I’ve always been a Leafs fan, I didn’t really follow hockey that much until my early 30s. I’d keep track of the standings from time to time, and show some interest during the playoffs, but for the most part I didn’t pay much attention. It wasn’t until maybe 13-14 years ago that I really started getting into it.

Back then, there was a particular clothing store about 40 minutes from here, where we bought most of our kids clothes. The place had incredible prices and the clothes were durable, something any parent will appreciate. On one trip to this store, while my wife was having the kids try stuff on I decided to have a look in the menswear section. There, I spotted a Toronto Maple Leafs T-Shirt. The price was really good so I decided to buy it. Jump ahead to present day and easily one quarter of my T-Shirts, not to mention about a dozen ball caps bear the blue and white maple leaf. If fact, I’m wearing one of the shirts right now as I’m recording this.

Now, the thing with wearing anything Toronto Maple Leafs is that I’m bound to get a lot of comments wherever I go. I live in an area situated half way between where the Montreal Canadians play and where the Ottawa Senators play so I need to have pretty thick skin. Since my Leafs have pretty much been abysmal the last few years I get chided a lot. But that’s OK, I’m comfortable in my skin and I can take it. I also don’t shy away from wearing my Leafs attire while visiting Montreal or Ottawa where I’m bound to get a lot of looks. I’m not doing it to say “Hey, look at me,” nor because I’m trying to flaunt anything, as I mentioned, there’s not a lot to flaunt the way my team has been playing, it’s just that I’m proud to be a Leafs fan and don’t care what other’s think.

OK, that’s it for the hockey talk, now let’s move on to Ottawa Comiccon, where the idea I just told you about has some bearing.

This past Friday and Saturday I went to Ottawa Comiccon. Now, this was my first time at a modern comic convention. As I mentioned back in episode 233, I attended a comic book and roll playing game convention back around 1990 but that wasn’t anything like what they have today.

Now, one of the great things about Comiccons are the wonderful costumes that some of the attendees wear. You can really see the thought and effort put into them. In fact some of the attendees have better costumes than the convention’s special invited guests that are professional cosplayers.

Now I paid special attention to the costumes. Since I do an Orphan Black podcast I was hoping to see some people dressed as the clones from the show. In that aspect, I was disappointed. I didn’t see a single member of Clone Club. But I did see some wonderful costumes and makeups that I recognized from my geeky influences. There were plenty of different Dr. Who incarnations, Tons of Jedi Knights, Spidermans and Batmans galore and dozens and dozens of Deadpools. There was even a guy dressed as Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, or at least I think it was a guy.

There were also slews of recognizable costumes from outside my personal tastes, such as Sailor Moon, My Little Pony, Pokemon. Halo, Bioshock, and lots of Steampunk.

And then there were all the cosplayers that I didn’t recognize.

Almost all the costumes and makeups I saw had something in common. People passionate for what they represented. I say almost, because there were a few cosplayers whose motives I question. And as time went by I started to see why.

Now to be a cosplayer I imagine you need thick skin. Every one of them must know before dressing up, regardless of their costume, that they will draw attention. People will point at them, comment about them, talk to them, compliment them, and even photograph them and pose with them.

If you are really interested in seeing everything a Comiccon had to offer, I suggest you don’t dress up. Because if you do, expect your progress to be greatly hampered by the constant barrage of onlookers.

As I mentioned earlier that there were tons of people dressed as Jedi. Well, there were also a few dressed as Princess Leia. I saw the white dress Death Star Leia, the Endor soldier Leia, and yes the Jabba’s palace slave Leia. This last one of course getting the most attention.

At one point during my wanderings I came across a small gathering of photographers. They had cornered two such Leias and were asking them to pose together.

I’m just guessing but it looked like the two costumes may have been purchased from the same place they were so similar. Both women were extremely comfortable in their skin and wore the skimpy fabrics very well. But while I stood there watching them pose for the camera I noticed something. One of the two was relishing all the attention and flaunting her curves for the camera and trying to steal all the attention. While the other was enjoying the fact that she was Princess Leia and how people appreciated it. You could visibly see the difference between the two women as they posed.

It makes me think of the times I see someone wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs shirt putting down someone sporting another teams apparel. They’re not conveying they’re Leafs fans, they’re just vying for attention. Why can’t they just support the team? I personally would never think of putting down someone just because they root for a different team, I’m happy just showing that I’m a Leafs fan.

Did I just compare my Leafs T-Shirts a Princess Leia costume?

Anyway, the observation wasn’t just with the Leias, or with women for that matter. There were several men in the crowd that I could say the same of. I saw a couple of guys dressed as Hawkman. If you are not familiar with the DC Comic character, he’s a man that can fly with the use of giant wings. His costume consists of a pair of tights and a bare chest crossed by a couple of straps showing a lot of skin. One of the Hawkmen I saw was a beefy, extremely well toned guy. I can imagine him deciding on this costume not because of the character but because it shows off his skin and well toned body. After all, Superman and Batman are muscular but they’re fully covered up. By the looks he was getting from the ladies his decision worked. The other Hawkman I saw I’m sure had no such notions when he chose his costume. He wasn’t quite overweight but he was, soft. But he wore his costume with pride, and you could tell that he really loved the character.

Anyway, around this time a thought started forming in my head for a SILY episode but I wasn’t quite sure where to go with it. And then I saw her.

I caught a glimpse of a man and woman dressed in white. He wore a long white lab coat and carried a large jar with a dismembered Barbie inside. The woman beside him was wearing a… Let’s just say her costume could have come from a Victorias Secret wedding catalogue. She looked great. I had no idea who they were supposed to be but just by looking at the two of them I knew they were pulling off their characters flawlessly.

During the afternoon I saw two other women wearing very similar outfits. But even though they were dressed the same as the first woman I saw, I felt embarrassed to be looking at these two and all the skin they were showing. I also wondered how they could dress like that with so many children around. The funny thing is I hadn’t felt that when looking at the first woman even though her attire had been virtually the same. And then it hit me. The first woman had been in costume playing a character, whereas these other two were just women wearing lingerie and flashing skin at anyone that would look.

While eagerly posing for a photo I heard someone ask one of the later girls who she was supposed to be. Her reply confirmed my thought. She said she was dressed like one of the characters from a show her boyfriend watches. There it was, she had no love for the character, to her it wasn’t a role being played. This woman was only there two show off her skin to the gawkers.

Later that day I found myself at one of the exhibitor booths when the first couple I had seen stopped next to me. Strangely, I did not feel any embarrassment for this woman. I turned to the two of them and asked them who they were dressed as. The girl smiled and immediately went in to how they were two characters from an animated show called Archer. She explained the show and their characters with so much passion and conviction that I added it to my Netflix watch list when I got home. The whole time I talked to them I didn’t see a woman wearing nylons, garter, and bustier. I saw a woman who was embodying a character she loves.

That was the difference.

Here’s what I learned.
I experience it all the time when I wear my Leafs clothes. People look, some comment, some throw taunts or jabs at me. They should learn that wearing your teams colours doesn’t mean you’re better than those wearing other colours but many think it does. I don’t think ill of those wearing another teams logo.
I love the Toronto Maple Leafs because I’m a fan of theirs, not because I dislike any other team, and I’m proud to wear their emblem on my chest.

I saw this notion in a different light this past weekend at Comiccon. There were so many people there dressed as characters they love and cherish. You could see the passion in the hard work they put into their look. You could see the joy when they talked with those around them and you could see the pleasure in their faces when they were asked to pose for the camera. It didn’t matter how much or how little they were wearing they embodied their characters beautifully.

But those few, the vain, the ones that were only there to show themselves off, I just shake my head at them. They don’t understand the community spirit that is Comiccon.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a chest covered by a couple of straps, or an intimate bridal outfit, or even a T-shirt displaying a sports team. If there’s no love behind it and you’re only wearing it to show it off and impress others, it will come off that way.

There are so many advertising campaigns out there touting the slogan “be yourself,” or “you’re beautiful just the way you are”. And they’re so true. And there are many ways to be yourself. I wear the clothes I wear because I like them, not to impress anyone else. A woman shouldn’t put on makeup to impress others. If she does put any on it should be to please herself. And if pleasing herself means no makeup at all then so be it.

They’re forms of expression, and expression should come from within, not from those looking in.

So I encourage you to express yourself, let loose and show the world the real you. And if that means wearing a Toronto, Montreal or Chicago jersey then so be it. And if showing a little skin while donning a Princess Leia costume makes you comfortable, then that’s OK as well.

I’m Mark Des Cotes and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.

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