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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I believe in love at first sight, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.
What about you? Do you believe in love at first sight? For me, there’s no doubt about it. I still remember what perhaps was the first time I realized this possibility was true for me. I was fifteen years old standing in front of the magazine section of Waldenbooks. I’d never seen anything so beautiful or sexy. The curves of what I saw on the cover compelled me to pick up the magazine and rifle through it so I could see more.
There were other beauties on the pages of the magazine, but I was in search of the cover model. Finally I found it and my life was changed forever. There on the glossy pages of either Car and Driver or Road & Track magazine was the 1991 Dodge Viper. Sleek, yet tough, there was nothing subtle about it. It was bold and fast and it wanted you to know it.
The Viper boasted 400 horsepower and 465 lb-ft of torque coming from a V10 engine. The fiberglass body was mated to a steel tube frame which kept the weight down to only 3,200 pounds. The car was kept minimal by design. No traction control. No anti-lock brakes. No power steering. No air-conditioning. No exterior door handles. It was a two-seat convertible intended for those who wanted raw power and old school control. It could launch you from zero to sixty in 4.2 seconds.
I’d been hanging pictures of cars on the walls of my bedroom since I first saw the Countach watching The Cannonball Run. I found a six foot long poster of the Viper and hung it on my wall, dwarfing every other car that hung next to it. It became my dream to own one someday.
That day came just a few years later when I walked into my local craft store and purchased a plastic model kit that allowed me to build my own. By that time the second generation had been released, which included a hard top version. I loved this version even more with its racing stripes and double bubble roof. My Z4 also has a double bubble roof, and I’m sure my love for the Viper has some influence on my love for my Z4.
I’ve mentioned before that my first job was bagging groceries during the summers that I stayed with my grandparents. They lived in an area of Oklahoma City called The Village, and the grocery store I worked at was about a half mile walk from their house.
The store pulled in customers from all directions. To the south was the area where my grandparents lived. It was a middle class neighborhood with 2-3 bedroom homes between 1,500 and 2,000 square feet.
The demographic was very similar to the east side of the store, although it was probably slightly lower in some areas of duplexes and townhomes. To the west and north of the store were higher income homes. Many of those were 3 and 4 bedroom houses between 3,000 and 4,000 square feet.
All that to say, we saw all kinds of people in our store. When I wasn’t bagging groceries I was sweeping floors. Minimum wage was $4.25 and I was happy to be earning it! One perk of working at the store was that my job not only included bagging the groceries, but our baggers also carried the groceries out and loaded them into cars as well. This meant that we were allowed to receive tips.
Most trips to the parking lot were uneventful. Customers either didn’t speak to me at all or they’d make small talk about the weather. I really couldn’t tell you any specific conversation I had with any single person I met during those two summers. Well, except for one.
After bagging up the groceries for a lady I guessed was in her late 60s, we headed out to the parking lot to put them in her car. As we walked, she asked me about myself and I told her I was spending the summer with my grandparents and working the job to save up money. She then asked me what I was saving for and I told her I was saving up to buy my first car.
She then asked me what kind of car I wanted. I told her my dream car was a Dodge Viper, but for now I was saving up for anything that was reliable that I could use to drive to school and hang out with my friends.
It was about that time that we reached her car. It was a pearl white Cadillac. It had one of those fancy trunks that would let you set the trunk lid down softly and then it would electronically put it down the rest of the way. I finished loading up her groceries and pulled her trunk closed. She smiled and thanked me for my help. And then she handed me a $20 bill and said that it was to help me get the car of my dreams. WOW! A $20 tip was huge! And in case you’re wondering, that’s about $45 today.
Here’s what I learned.
About 15 years ago Kari and I served our church as the leaders of the college age class. We had a great group of college kids and we enjoyed leading them in Bible study every Sunday morning. We also had a great time hosting them in our home for meals, desserts, and more Bible study.
One of those students was a young lady I’ll call Kristin. Kristen grew up in a rural part of Oklahoma and moved to our Oklahoma City suburb for college. She was fiery and passionate, cared deeply for people, and had a great laugh. She was a delight to have in our group.
Something changed in her during her second year of college. We stayed close to her and did our best to keep her engaged. But it was clear something was different. Eventually we learned that she’d been the victim of sexual assault. Understandably, it deeply impacted her. I don’t think it’s something you ever completely get over, but slowly our Kristen began to re-emerge.
It was a long journey of darkness that sometimes seemed too difficult for her. Even after she shared the story with Kari and I, I’m not sure I was very helpful to her. I tried to be and I wanted to be, but it was definitely something I felt unequipped to understand how to best be there for her.
But she did keep going and she did, as best as I can imagine anyone doing, overcame it. We saw her fall in love, get married, have two ornery boys and adopt other children. Today she and her husband have moved back to the rural community where they grew up and are making a great impact there.
Here’s the thing about Kristin. She’s a giver. At some point I learned that she was sponsoring a little boy in Central America through World Vision or a similar organization. She’d been doing it with her own money since she was in high school. She may have been a poor college student and she may have been in the dark void of dealing with being assaulted, but she never stopped giving.
These two women still inspire me today. They remind me that no matter where you are in life, no matter your financial situation, no matter what difficulty you’re going through or mountain you’re on top of, you are never too good to treat someone with respect and even offer them something extra to brighten their day, and you’re never too poor to be able to find someone who needs help more than you do. I’ve known what it’s like to have plenty, and I’ve known what it feels like to be uncertain of how I will pay for food. Thanks to the inspiration of women like Kiristin and the grocery stranger, I can tell you that when I find a way to give in all situations, it’s not just those who receive my gift that benefit and are blessed by it.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
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