Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, my least favorite thing about going to OU football games is the other fans that constantly yell during the game, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.

From 1958 until 2023 both Oklahoma State University and the University of Oklahoma participated in the same athletics conference. At the time that conference was called the Big 8 Conference, which is now known as the Big 12 conference. OU joined the Southeastern Conference in 2024, while OSU still resides in the Big 12. Any time these two schools meet on a field, court, course, mat, or classroom, it is referred to as bedlam. 

However, even before the two schools occupied the same conference, they competed against each other every year. The first OU vs OSU football game was in 1904. They skipped 1905, but afterward played against each other every year from 1906 until 2023.

There are differing reports of when the nickname of “bedlam” was first used to describe the rivalry between the two schools. Some say it was after OSU beat OU on the football field for the first time in 1917 and an article was published in The Daily Oklahoman newspaper describing the aftermath as bedlam. However, other reports say it was previously used by a newspaper reporter to describe a highly contested wrestling match between the two schools. 

One thing is certain: at some point in the early 1900’s bedlam was being used to describe any competition between the two academic institutions. Today our state bleeds orange and crimson, with some houses divided between the two. If you’ve been listening for any length of time to SILY, you know our home is very much a crimson one.

As far as football goes, OU has dominated OSU. I was born in 1976 and that year OSU beat my Sooners 12-0. Of course, I don’t remember the game. What I do remember is that would be the last time the Cowboys would beat the Sooners until my sophomore year of college. That’s right, all of my life growing up, I never saw OU lose to the Cowboys. It was great!

The bedlam football series has been more competitive over the last 30 years, but OU still leads that stretch 21-9. The Cowboys fans will quickly remind us Sooners that they beat us 2 out of the 3 final times we met, including the very last matchup in 2023. I must admit that final loss does sting.

The 2008 matchup was a big one. OU was ranked number 3 and OSU was ranked number 11. The game had been given a prime time 7pm kickoff on ABC and ESPN was on campus Saturday morning with their College GameDay show. OU would be travelling to OSU’s campus, but was still favored to win the game by 10 points. It was mostly a close game with OSU trailing by only 3 points with 10 minutes left to go in the game. But OU would pull away from there, eventually winning by 20 points, 61-41.

Of course, I was quite happy that my team had won but that wasn’t the case for my neighbor across the street. His name was Anthony. He and his wife, Rachel, had moved in a few months earlier and we’d struck up a friendship. They were newlyweds and a few years younger than my wife and I. We had two kids by that time while they’d yet to start their family. We moved across town the following year but we still keep up with them via Facebook. They now have 3 kids and Anthony is a state representative.

Anthony had graduated from the Oklahoma State University School of Law the year before, and as much as I bleed crimson, Anthony bleeds orange. We often talked football, both college and pro, and we were both in different fantasy football leagues. Anthony had gone to the bedlam game that year and I was looking forward to hearing his take on the game. Of course, I knew his excitement for the game wouldn’t be the same as mine, so I figured I’d wait a day or two to chat with him about it.

That changed when we arrived home from church the next day. As we were unloading our kids from the car, Anthony and Rachel arrived home from church as well. Knowing that it wasn’t the right time to carry on a full conversation about the game, I simply waved and said, “Boomer Sooner!”

Anthony instantly became very visibly upset. He quickly composed himself and sternly let me know that he’d had enough of OU fans and that he didn’t want to hear it. This was unusual behavior for him so I took the clue that I’d said too much and we went inside for lunch.

Later that week Anthony and I had a chance to approach the subject again. I apologized and told him that I didn’t mean to upset him nor did I ever plan on rubbing the victory in his face. He also apologized and let me know that the anger he was expressing was not really intended at me, but rather was boiling over from his experience at the game the night before. 

Apparently he’d taken his young niece or nephew to the game and some OU fans sitting near them had been cursing all night and even spilled a beer on them. So by the time the game was over and he’d heard more heckling on his way back to his car, he’d had his fill of the words Boomer Sooner and OU fans. I don’t blame him.

Here’s what I learned.

After that bad experience, Anthony never went to another football game and told me that all OU fans are hypocrites. He decided he could get the same experience watching games on TV and decided he was better off not talking to anyone else about football. 

That seems like a bit unreasonable and an overreaction to me. What about you?

Okay, I admit, that last part isn’t true. The entire story is true except that Anthony didn’t stop going to football games. He didn’t assume all OU fans were hypocrites. He didn’t stop talking to others about his love of football. He realized that there are some bad apples with every fanbase, but it’s still better to experience his love of football with others. He’s still a passionate OSU football fan.

Now I know this isn’t a perfect comparison, but despite that, hear me out.

Many people, perhaps even you, have given up on going to church or following Christ because of the behavior of a few Christians or an experience at a church. 

For example, my daughter has a friend whom she has asked repeatedly to come to church with her.  Unfortunately, he refuses. He’s told her that he didn’t go to church very often growing up. In fact, it was rare. One time when he was very young, he was in a Sunday School class and got in trouble. The teacher made him sit in the corner. He was very embarrassed and hurt by it. So now he refuses to go again.

Another friend of mine has told me that she refuses to go to church anymore because when she and her husband did go, they got tired of all the hypocrites. So now they don’t go, they don’t watch any online or TV church services, they don’t read the Bible.

Maybe you can identify with these stories too. You’ve tried going to church but the people there hurt you and all you saw were hypocrites. I mean, of course all you saw were hypocrites! No one is perfect and we’re all screw ups. 

It’s a paradox, isn’t it? People feel like they can’t go to church because they aren’t good enough. They have to get their life together first. Yet others come to church and see a bunch of imperfect people and leave because the people there are a bunch of hypocrites. 

Another comparison could be made to your favorite restaurant. For my son, it’s Taco Bell. Has he ever had bad Taco Bell? Of course. Have they ever got his order wrong? Yup. Is there that one Taco Bell that he knows not to go to unless he wants a bad experience? Yes. So does that mean he’s stopped going to Taco Bell? Of course not. He gives Taco Bell some grace when they get something wrong, and he avoids that location that is bad.

Again, it’s not a great analogy because we shouldn’t approach churches the same way as a restaurant as if we’re only there to be served and get what we want. But hopefully you get the idea I’m trying to get across. That is, we don’t let a bad experience or two stop us from going out to eat or supporting our local football team, and we shouldn’t let that stop us from the pursuit of finding a good church and experiencing the Christian faith with others either.

The Church IS full of hypocrites. That’s the point. The point of church is to help each other grow. To hold each other up, study together, pray together, worship together, and serve together. Warts, flaws, struggles, and everything.

If you’ve been hurt by Christians or seen our hypocrisy. If we’ve caused you to step away from church and played a role in severing your relationship with God. I apologize. We Christians are human after all and despite how much we’d prefer otherwise, we do make a mess of things sometimes. Today I invite you to reconsider. Open that Bible. Visit the church down the street. Talk to your Christian friend and ask them for prayer. Reach out to me.

For you Christians, let’s be ever mindful of how our behavior affects others. We are called to a higher standard. Let’s do our best to uphold that, yet not act as if we’re perfect. We are called to extend mercy and grace. We are called to be known by love. 

To wrap up today, I want to read a portion of a poem that my pastor reads to our congregation at least once a year. It’s a poem written nearly 100 years ago by Sam Shoemaker, and it’s called, “I Stand at the Door.”

I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
The door is the most important door in the world –
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door – the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch – the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man’s own touch.

Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it – live because they have not found it.

Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. ‘Let me out!’ they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving – preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So for them too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door –
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But – more important for me –
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

‘I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.

I want you to be a part of the next Monday Mailbag on March 31st! Monday Mailbag is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU.  It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long.  It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others.  You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can participate in Monday Mailbags by visiting the Golden Spiral Media listener feedback page.