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Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. My name is Darrell Darnell, I think Marie Barone is the worst mother-in-law in the history of TV, and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.
I’m not sure about you, but for me, I grew up thinking that mothers-in-law were the worst. I’d hear random jokes about them and generally considered them to be one of those things that I’d eventually have to endure. In pop culture, I can really only recall Endora, portrayed by Agnes Moorehead on Bewitched as a mother-in-law that was problematic. But even then, that show was so outlandish and unbelievable, I never took it seriously.
In episode 44 I shared the story of how I met my wife, Kari, as well as some of our dating experience and how I asked her to marry me. I also shared a bit about my in-laws and how I sought their blessing to marry Kari. In that story I gave you a glimpse at the woman who would become my mother-in-law. She was wonderful on that day and she was a wonderful mother-in-law for the next 23 years.
Unfortunately, last week was the two year anniversary of when we lost her. On August 3, 2022, my mother-in-law, Kay Brunson, went to be with Jesus. Today, I wanted to set aside this episode as a tribute to her. I’ve asked Dave, my father-in-law, my two brothers-in-law, Marc and Brian, and my wife, Kari, to send in contributions about her that share what they remember and miss most about her, what they want others to know about her, and what their grief process has been like.
From Dave:
It’s totally amazing that in this big world that has 7 seas, 196 countries, and 7 billion people, I was so lucky enough to find the love of my life. Her love transformed my life in the most beautiful ways. I am eternally grateful for her and the love we shared. She was truly a sweet gift from God. She was my everything.
Her love is the flame that warms my soul—a fire that burns with eternal passion. In her beautiful brown eyes, I found a home, a sanctuary, where my heart belongs. Her touch ignited a spark within me, a desire that only her love could satisfy. She was the melody of my heart, a song of love that plays endlessly, a tune that dances in the air, whispering of our unbreakable bond. I promise to cherish her, to honor our love, and to keep the flame of our passion alive forever. I loved her her whole life, and I will miss her for the rest of mine.
You and me is a forever kind of thing. You aren’t just a chapter in my life; you are the whole book. It’s hard to turn the page knowing you aren’t in the next chapter. I love you in ways I simply can’t explain and reasons I can’t always understand. It’s a love that has woven itself into the very core of my whole being. In you, you were/are my forever and my whole being. I miss you so much. You were absolutely, positively an incredibly amazing and loving woman who loved life, her children, and grandchildren so much. I know without a doubt your love for me. When I held you in my loving arms, I could see your love for me in your beautiful brown eyes. I am so glad that as our wonderful marriage grew over the many years, we just grew more together and not apart like a lot of marriages. I thank God for you and the precious time we were together.
I now know grief has no expiration date, as I will grieve for the rest of my life. You will always be remembered as long as I live. I love you dearly, my precious angel.
From Marc:
My mom loved to garden. Whether it was plants, trees, flowers or growing vegetables, she was getting her hands dirty and taking care of them. In the summer I remember waking up to my mom watering her plants and then accidentally spraying my window. At least that’s what she said. We lived in a two story house and there were no plants on the 2nd floor where my room was. lol
I can still see my mom in my head when talking about this…. Tearing up as I am trying to tell you….. Laying in bed half asleep and looking down as the water runs down the window I see bright blurred colors of a big flowing pink crape myrtle with all sorts of flowers of different colors planted all around it. As the somewhat waterfall flows down my window and runs out from my mom spraying it. I can see her looking up at me with her back at watering her plants and having a big cheerful smile.
She rubbed off on me and now I love to plant trees and have a garden although I’m not as good as her. I bought 15 different types of fruit trees to start a small orchard, from peaches, pears and plums but all died. I am just going to blame that on the crazy weather even though I was pampering them and making sure they had water.
The last conversation I had with just mom and I was on her back porch looking at the plants, trees and flowers. I asked her what kind of flower or plants she has. Then the conversation turned and I told her that I was watching someone that gardens on YouTube and she said. What if I told you I don’t garden for the flowers or the produce or to make my yard look nice. What if I told you I do it to spend time with the Lord. Then I saw my mom in the corner of my eye. She looked at me with that big smile and just nodded her head and from her face she was saying now you get it. This was her quiet place to talk to the Lord.
She had the love of Jesus and was so kind hearted to people and strangers.
My bride and I put in a small vegetable garden this year. The fragrance that comes off when watering tomato plants used to remind me of summer. Now there is a better memory that pops up. My momma.
From Brian:
My Mom,
Some people think being a momma’s boy is a bad thing. But you didn’t know my mom!!! I always knew she was extra special because God chose her to be my mother and deal with me! lol
She was the most tender hearted loving person I’ve ever known and it wouldn’t be too far-fetched for anyone that knew her to agree.
She had an infectious smile and laugh. And if that didn’t get you, her southern twang would put a smile on your face. Like Neosaporin, and oh Shooooowt.
She was such a great Christian. And in your Christian walk you are always learning something. (it’s not called the living Bible for no reason) So any time I didn’t understand something or wanted another outlook on something, she was always there to help me understand things.
I think it might have started with giants and Nephilim in the Bible and how history has covered up their existence that got us looking into conspiracies.
I’m now a bit of a conspiracy theorist and love thinking outside of the box and mom and I would bounce the newest conspiracies off of each other.
I love how I could always go to her no matter what the situation would be. She was always there with wisdom, knowledge, and love. No matter how dumb my jokes were she would always laugh.
I loved hearing her sing. She had a great alto voice and could really play the piano.
I remember when I was a kid, 8-12 or so, I didn’t like sitting by her in church because she would sing “off key” in my ignorance not knowing she was harmonizing. Once I realized that, I was blown away with that.
I miss her more than anyone will know. But the life lessons and time I’ve had with her are truly invaluable.
But I rest in peace knowing she is with our savior Lord Jesus Christ that she has loved, sang, and spoke about so freely and openly. And that there will be a great reunion when my time comes. So it’s not goodbye but a see ya later.
So take pictures and take videos of your loved ones even if they don’t want you too because eventually we will all be just a memory.
From Kari:
Mom would write poetry and stories and would even illustrate some of them.
We loved it when she’d make dessert. When we heard the mixer going in the kitchen, we knew something yummy was on its way.
She taught me how to sing harmony.
She taught me to scream on roller coasters so you don’t feel sick.
I miss her voice and Texan accent.
She had the best smile.
She was everyone’s friend and had the gift of gab. The saying, “she never met a stranger” was so true.
She would always listen if I had a problem and would give wise advice.
Regarding food I don’t like, she’d say to try it because, “today could be the day” that I started to like it. This happened to me with cranberry sauce. I used to not like it at all, but I do now.
She taught me that you can pray for other people even if you don’t know them. There was a lady crying in the car next to us when I was a kid, maybe a teenager. I asked Mom, “What’s wrong?” She said something like, “I don’t know, but we can pray for her because God knows.”
She was excellent at gardening.
She was always patient.
She said that there’s always room for dessert.
She played the piano beautifully. I heard Claire de Lune for the first time when she played it when I was a kid. I always think of her when I hear that song.
She loved to sing praise and worship songs.
She had a great sense of humor.
She loved to help people—very generous.
She liked to stay busy; she did not like to just sit around.
This is the last thing Mom wrote. I don’t know when exactly, but I think she wrote it a few weeks before she died:
The scent of heaven’s fragrance
Oh how lovely that will be
To stand in such a glorious
Place before His Majesty!
To feel the love’s embrace
Of Jesus’ enfolding arms
As He welcomes me
And takes me to the
Mansion I’ve waited for.
I know she loved me, my husband, and our kids, and our entire family. And she prayed for all of us so often.
I just miss her so much—like C.S. Lewis said in A Grief Observed, “Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”
Here’s what I learned.
Kay was an amazing person and we all miss her dearly. As a mother-in-law, she was the exact opposite of what I’d been taught to expect. She was always encouraging, never meddling, supportive in whatever way we needed, always ready to share wisdom, prayer, scripture, and a kind word. She was a wonderful cook and gardener. She was a peacemaker, she cared for those less fortunate, and brought a smile to every room.
The thirty-first chapter of Proverbs says:
“Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
It’s a fitting passage that aptly describes the best mother-in-law a guy could ever hope for. All of us who knew her were better for having her in our lives. One day we’ll see her again, and we all look forward to that day.
I’m Darrell Darnell, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
I want you to be a part of the next Monday Mailbag on July 29th! Monday Mailbag is your opportunity to Share what YOU’VE learned, so that other listeners and I can learn from YOU. It can be a message as short as 30 seconds or several minutes long. It really doesn’t matter just as long as it’s something that will benefit others. You can send in questions or responses to my SILY episodes, and I’ll respond to them via Monday Mailbag episodes. You can participate in Monday Mailbags by visiting the Golden Spiral Media listener feedback page at goldenspirlamedia.com/feedback.