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Hello, everyone! My name is John McGrail, my favorite breakfast cereal is Golden Grahams, and I believe that if you’re not learning, you’re not living. Today I’m going to be joined by my wonderful family in reflecting on the last year.
So, what’s today’s fun fact? If you’re a hot dog lover like me then you will know that July is National Hot Dog Month and specifically today, July 13 is National Beans and Franks Day. The annual world-renowned Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest was held on July 4 in New York with Joey “Jaws” Chestnut taking the crown for the men eating 70 hot dogs and buns in a strict 10-minute time limit. Miki Sodu took the ladies championship eating 38 and a half. Jaws’ 70 sets the record for the most hot dogs eaten in the contest by anyone. Coming down the stairs after the event, one of the judges could be heard saying: “Wow, I’ve never seen anything like it.” Indeed.
Well, thankfully you don’t have to eat 70 hot dogs in 10 minutes to be part of the Friday Forum—just a willingness to share what you have been learning with me and the rest of the Stuff I Learned Yesterday community. You can add your voice to the Friday Forum in several ways—by calling 3048372278 and leaving a voicemail, by going to www.goldenspiralmedia.com/feedback and uploading an audio file, or use the provided speakpipe widget; or, you can type out an email and send it in that way.
Now, here’s what I learned yesterday:
Tomorrow, July 14 will mark one year since I was let go from my job of four years working in a non-profit foundation that served the credit unions of North and South Carolina. As I’ve told the story on Stuff I Learned Yesterday before my separation was both devastating and relieving at the same time. I had gotten to a very dark place and was trying to deal with depression on my own. It was not healthy and yet I also wasn’t actively searching for a way out job-wise so being let go was an act of mercy as much as anything else. Time seems to give us perspective, doesn’t it? Last July 14 I was driving home numb, scared, yet also comforted by the knowledge that my family and friends had my back. Tomorrow I will go to work thankful for the change that has happened in such a short period of time. One of the things that faced me down during this past year was the red devil sitting on my shoulder—you know, the blue one’s opposite that sits on your other shoulder—so, the red one kept telling me a lot of negative junk, that I was not good enough to measure up as a man, a husband, a father, a worker, etc. It’s easy to give into these kinds of things when things are hard, you have obligations to meet, and you don’t have answers. Still though, my family and friends were always there with encouragement, resources, and ideas on what might come next. As Father’s Day came around a few weeks ago I told my bride that I really didn’t want effort put in to anything special—the truth is I really didn’t want to face all of the struggle that I felt I had brought upon my family in the past year. What you’ll be hearing next is my family’s gift to me for Father’s Day:
[John’s kids and bride recording their own special Stuff I Learned Yesterday]
Here’s what I learned:
A family that struggles and succeeds together stays together. I debated playing my family’s gift on the podcast and asked their permission to do so. And I didn’t share it in any spirit of personal pride-at times it’s still hard to hear and believe any personal praise. It’s about perspective. My family and I had conversations all along the way about choices that needed to be made, about possible plans to move or not, about my feelings of shortcomings in so many areas. But now, in perspective, all of the things that my bride and kids took away from this past year (with most of them not even about our struggles)—they’re here for me to hear, to remember, to lean on, especially as things might be tough in starting my own new investment practice. If you’re struggling with perspective today I get it! If you’re too close to the situation at hand it’s hard to see other things that are happening and other people that are influencing you—or that you may be influencing. Maybe what you need is someone who can share how they’re seeing things. Don’t discount perspective like I did—use it for the gift as it was given.
I’m John McGrail, and this has been Stuff I Learned Yesterday.
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