Welcome to Stuff I Learned Yesterday. I am The Real Brian aka The Shadow.  I’ve got new socks on!  Actually… I don’t like socks… I go barefoot… even if it’s cold and snowing… and I believe that if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.  In today’s episode of Stuff I Learned Yesterday … Why don’t I fit in?!?

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What I Learned Yesterday:

Alright – so I know we’ve asked this question:  Why don’t I fit in?  I know, at one time in our life or another, we’ve all asked this question.  This can be a range of anything from fitting in at school or church or fitting into a job situation.

I actually think this is a major problem that, sadly, most of us never address.

My sister-in-law and her family came into town this last weekend and we decided to all go to church with them at their former church when they lived here.  I’d only been once many years ago so this was basically like the first time again.

Now first of all, it’s a fantastic church – seems like great community, solid teaching, etc.

But I kept feeling uncomfortable and like I wasn’t fitting in.

I was trying to determine why I was feeling this way.

First of all, I realized that the teaching and style of the service was very structured and precise.  Not just in elements but in the stylistic delivery of the message and so forth.

As I observed others and met a few people, I realized many of the church community were programmers, engineers, scholars, etc.  Very intelligent make-up and also somewhat introverted.

So I realized – the style of the church drew in that style of person.  Makes complete sense.

So that’s why I didn’t fit in… but wait!  There’s MORE!

Here’s what I learned.

At first, I was frustrated that it was so different from my personality and style I’d prefer to see.  I mean, let’s face it – we all believe people should be like us, do what we do, and unwaveringly understand us, right?


But we DO seriously think that way sometimes, if not most of the time!  Admit it!  I am.  I certainly think that way sometimes.

Because I’m me and you’re you, that’s what we understand!  That’s who we ARE!

BUT… oh yes… and this is important…

We.  Are.  Different.

Shocking, I know.  But digging deeper.  We each have our own personalities, strengths, interests, passion, purpose, and the list goes on and on.

Unfortunately, many times, we don’t really understand our own personalities nor the personalities of others around us.  Instead, we try to fit everyone else into our own box.

Doesn’t work.

This is a big reason for struggle in marriages.

This is a big reason for church frustration and division.

This is a big reason why people hate their jobs, workplace effectiveness is down, and people get promoted to their highest level of incompetency.

This is why some people excel in school and others don’t… giving way to all kinds of disorders, medical issues, and classifications.

We’re different!  We learn differently.  We act differently.  We have different strengths, interests, personalities… wait I already said that.

But it’s SOOOOO important!!!!

While that church I went to seems like a great church with great people, my personality and strengths, etc. do not fit that church.  They are a very specifically driven personality type church.

Same thing goes in the workplace, school, relationships, etc.

What I learned is that it is VITAL for us to learn and understand our own personalities and how WE come across to others.  I also learned that it is ESSENTIAL to learn about the OTHER personalities and how to relate to them.

We can better our relationships and our environments by understanding how each other ticks and how to interact more effectively by learning about our personalities, differences, and strengths.

THEN… we just might fit in a little more easily.  :)

I’m The Real Brian and this has been stuff I learned yesterday.

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